Tense Consistency and Fossilised Errors in a Narrative
A teacher is analysing a B2-level narrative paragraph written by a PAU candidate in a timed mock. The paragraph reads: 'Last summer I go to a volunteering camp in the mountains, where I learn how to build paths and I meet people from different countries. The most important thing what I learned was that team work is essential, and we must to cooperate. Also, I have to say that the experience change my opinion about rural life, and now I am more patient.' The candidate's overall score is borderline. The teacher must decide which errors to prioritise in feedback, because the candidate has only one week before the exam and tends to over-correct during writing, producing short, safe sentences.
1. Correct the paragraph and classify the errors by type and seriousness for a B2 exam.
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Corrected version: 'Last summer I went to a volunteering camp in the mountains, where I learned/learnt how to build paths and met people from different countries. The most important thing that I learned was that teamwork is essential, and we must cooperate. Also, I have to say that the experience changed my opinion about rural life, and now I am more patient.'
Classification:
- Tense consistency (major): 'go', 'learn', 'meet', 'change' should be past simple because the narrative is framed by 'Last summer'. This is the most serious issue because it affects the main narrative frame, not a minor detail.
- Relative clause (moderate): 'the most important thing what I learned' should be 'the most important thing that I learned' or 'what I learned'. The double relative marker is a common error; it is noticeable but does not usually block communication.
- Modal error (major): 'must to cooperate' is a fossilised error. 'Must' is followed by the bare infinitive. This is serious because it is a basic structure and recurs.
- Spelling/compound (minor): 'team work' should be 'teamwork' in this sense.
The priority order is: past-tense verbs first, then 'must to', then the relative clause. Spelling is low priority.
2. The candidate over-corrects and writes short sentences. What feedback would reduce errors without encouraging avoidance? Give two concrete instructions.
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The teacher should avoid saying 'write simpler sentences'. That solves accuracy by reducing range, which the PAU criteria penalise. Instead:
- 'One complex sentence per paragraph, planned before writing.' Ask the candidate to write a single sentence combining two ideas with a relative clause or a subordinate clause, then check only the verb tense in that sentence. For example: 'The camp, which was in the mountains, taught me how to build paths.' This keeps ambition while limiting the checking load.
- 'Past-tense audit after drafting, not during.' The candidate should write the whole paragraph without stopping, then underline every verb and ask: is this an event in the past, a general truth, or a present result? Change only the narrative verbs. This separates fluency from accuracy and reduces the temptation to shorten sentences mid-draft.
A useful comment would be: 'Your risk-taking is good. We are not removing complex sentences; we are checking the tense frame once, at the end.' This protects range while targeting the highest-frequency error.
3. Rewrite the paragraph at B2 level, keeping the same content, in 55–75 words. Explain two changes that improve range.
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Model rewrite (67 words): 'Last summer I went to a volunteering camp in the mountains, where I learned how to build paths and met people from different countries. What I learned most was that teamwork is essential and that we must cooperate. The experience also changed my view of rural life; I have become more patient since then.'
Two changes that improve range:
- 'What I learned most was...' replaces 'The most important thing what I learned was...'. This is a nominal relative clause, a B2 structure, and it removes the double relative marker at the same time. It also sounds more natural.
- 'I have become more patient since then' replaces 'now I am more patient'. The present perfect links the past experience to the present result, which is exactly the meaning the candidate intends. It adds a tense contrast (past simple for events, present perfect for result) without making the sentence long or risky.
A third minor improvement is the semicolon in 'rural life; I have become...', which shows control of punctuation between closely related clauses.