The Under-Length Beach Fee Essay
Writing task: 'Your local council plans to charge non-residents €5 to park at a popular beach. Write an opinion essay of 140–190 words saying whether you agree.' Candidate's essay: 'Nowadays, everybody knows that tourism is a controversial issue. In my opinion, I am agree with the parking fee. Firstly, the beach is very crowded in summer. Secondly, the money can be used for cleaning. On the other hand, some people think it is unfair. But I think residents pay taxes, so they should not pay. In conclusion, I think the fee is a good idea because it is good for the environment and for the people who live there.' The candidate wrote about 80 words, well below the required length. This is the full script.
1. Assess the essay against the PAU writing criteria: task achievement, coherence, and accuracy. Identify the two most serious problems and explain how they would affect the band.
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Task achievement (weak): the essay addresses the fee but never mentions non-residents, the €5 amount, or the specific beach; it replaces the prompt with a generic 'tourism' frame. Coherence (adequate): there is a sequence ('Firstly', 'Secondly', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion'), but the link between the 'unfair' counter-argument and the residents/taxes point is unclear. Accuracy (weak): 'I am agree' is a basic verb-form error; 'everybody knows that tourism is a controversial issue' is a memorised opener that says nothing. The two most serious problems are the missing task specifics and the factually empty introduction. Both would keep the script in a low band even if the grammar were clean.
2. The sentence 'In my opinion, I am agree with the parking fee' is wrong. Explain the error and rewrite it. Then suggest one concrete addition that would improve task achievement in the second paragraph.
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'Agree' is a verb, so it cannot follow 'am'. Use either 'I agree' (verb) or 'I am in agreement' (adjective phrase). Correct: 'In my opinion, I agree with the parking fee.' A concrete addition would name the group affected and tie a reason to the beach: 'A €5 charge for non-residents is fair because visitors use the beach car park but do not pay the council tax that funds its cleaning.' This adds specific reference to the prompt without simply repeating the same idea. It also gives the argument a causal structure rather than a list.
3. The essay is about 80 words; the task requires 140–190. What is the likely penalty, and what should the candidate add without repeating ideas?
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A script of about 80 words against a 140–190 requirement is under-length; examiners typically apply a penalty in task achievement because the topic cannot be developed. The candidate should add, not repeat: (a) a concrete example of crowding, such as 'in August the car park is full by 10 a.m.'; (b) a short concession with a response, such as 'Visitors may object, but the fee is lower than a bus ticket for a family'; and (c) a conclusion that states the condition for agreement, such as 'provided the money is ring-fenced for the beach'. Each addition must develop the argument rather than restate it.