A good argument in the wrong clothes: register in Paper 1 Task 1
Diego, an HL candidate in a school that sets a full Paper 1 every three weeks, writes 395 words for Task 1 (250–400 words): a formal letter to the ayuntamiento of Salamanca arguing against the removal of a bike lane used by 1,200 people a day. His three arguments are genuinely strong and supported by figures from a local cycling association. But the letter opens with «¡Hola! ¿Qué tal?» and closes with «Un abrazo, Diego»; paragraph one uses usted, paragraph three switches to vosotros («como sabéis»); there is no subject line; and two rhetorical questions with exclamation marks («¿De verdad quieren esto?!») interrupt the reasoning. He also produces two problem sentences: «espero que la ciudad vuelve a pensarlo» and «estoy de acuerdo con la decisión de eliminarlo», when the whole letter argues the opposite. The teacher has one 60-minute lesson before the next task and a departmental rule never to grade more than three criteria at once.
1. Rank Diego's problems by their impact on his mark and justify the ranking. Where does the reversed meaning sentence belong?
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1. Register and conventions (highest impact). A greeting and closing suited to a friend, and an address form that changes mid-letter, signal that the writer has no model of the reader - an institution. This is global: it colours the whole text, so it depresses task fulfilment and register/conventions together, and strong ideas will not rescue it. The tú/usted/vosotros switch is worse than a stray grammar slip because it shows the inconsistency is not noticed.
2. The reversed meaning (second). «Estoy de acuerdo con la decisión de eliminarlo» is not a grammar error; it states the opposite of his thesis. Two consequences: the reader cannot tell what he wants, and the letter loses coherence at the point where its purpose should be clearest. Under a time limit the fix is one sentence in the opening that states the position explicitly, so a slip later cannot invert the whole text.
3. Rhetorical questions and exclamations (third). Not wrong in themselves, but two in 395 words, with exclamation marks, push a formal letter towards emotional persuasion. A request plus evidence is more effective with a council.
4. Grammar (last). «Espero que la ciudad vuelve» needs the subjunctive, but one error in 395 words is a minor accuracy issue and should not be the lesson's focus. Fixing it is quick; fixing register is not.
Length constraint: at 395 words he is near the ceiling, so every rewrite must be net-neutral or shorter. Cutting the two rhetorical questions buys the space for a subject line and a proper closing.
2. Rewrite his opening three lines and closing three lines as a model, and state what he must keep from the original.
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Opening
Estimados señores:
Asunto: supresión del carril bici de la avenida de la Merced
Me dirijo a ustedes en relación con el proyecto de eliminar el carril bici de la avenida de la Merced, anunciado el 12 de marzo. Como usuarios habituales de ese carril y vecinos del barrio, quisiéramos exponerles tres razones para reconsiderar la medida.
Closing
Por todo lo anterior, les rogamos que estudien la posibilidad de mantener el carril y de abrir un proceso participativo con las asociaciones del barrio. A la espera de su respuesta, reciban un cordial saludo,
Diego Martín, en nombre de la Asociación Salamanca en Bici
What each change does. The salutation establishes the relationship in three words. The subject line names the topic before the first sentence - a convention that also costs nothing in word count. The position is stated in the opening and repeated as a request in the closing, so the reader knows what is being asked at both ends. Usted is consistent throughout, and the closing formula replaces «Un abrazo». The exclamation marks disappear because the request does the work.
What he must keep. The figures (1,200 daily users, the association's data) and the three-argument structure - that is the content that earns credit. He should also fix «espero que la ciudad vuelva a pensarlo»; it is the cheapest correction available and he can make it himself once the subjunctive trigger espero que is pointed out.