A Locker-Rent Notice Going to Print Tomorrow: Grammar, Liability and Channel
The branch manager of a semi-urban branch has drafted the following notice for 1,240 locker-hirers. The draft must go to print tomorrow morning; only the language can still be changed, not the charges or the dates.
"1. The annual rent of the lockers are being revised with effect from 1 October 2024. 2. Customers whom have paid the rent in advance for the full year need not pay any additional amount. 3. Having received several complaints of overcharging, the revised rent is being implemented in all branches. 4. The bank is not responsible for any loss of valuables kept in the locker, and they are advised to insure the contents. 5. If payment is not received within 30 days, the locker will be broken open and the articles will be disposed off."
The manager also plans to send the same text as a 160-character SMS to the same customers, and to treat the notice itself as the customer's consent to the revised rent.
1. Correct each of the five numbered sentences and name the fault in each.
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Fault: subject–verb agreement. The subject is rent (singular), not lockers. → "The annual rent of the lockers is being revised with effect from 1 October 2024."
Fault: wrong case of the relative pronoun. Whom is the object form, but here it is the subject of have paid. → "Customers who have paid the rent in advance for the full year need not pay any additional amount."
Fault: dangling participle. Having received several complaints appears to modify the revised rent, which cannot receive complaints. → "Having received several complaints of overcharging, the bank is implementing the revised rent in all branches" (or: "Following several complaints of overcharging, the revised rent is being implemented…").
Fault: ambiguous pronoun reference. They can refer to the bank or to the customers. → "The bank is not responsible for any loss of valuables kept in the locker; customers are therefore advised to insure the contents."
Faults: wrong particle and unmarked consequence. Disposed off should be disposed of; the sentence also promises a fixed-day forced opening with no stated procedure. → "If payment is not received within 30 days, the bank will open the locker and dispose of the articles after following the prescribed procedure."
2. Which of the five sentences exposes the bank to the greatest legal risk, and how should it be redrafted?
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Sentence 4 carries the greatest continuing risk, with sentence 5 a close second on conduct.
Sentence 4 is not a stray grammatical slip; it is a contractual exclusion of liability. A blanket statement that the bank is "not responsible for any loss of valuables" is inconsistent with the supervisory position on locker operations, under which a bank cannot disclaim liability for its own negligence. If a burglary or an unauthorised opening later occurs, this line will be read against the bank as an unfair term, and the branch will have to explain why it was never qualified. The pronoun ambiguity makes it worse - a court may read "they" as the customers and the clause as an advice, not a disclaimer.
Redraft as a statement of fact plus a positive duty: "The bank takes due care in the allotment and operation of lockers; customers are advised to insure the contents, as the bank's liability is limited to the extent laid down in the locker agreement and applicable directions."
Sentence 5 should be redrafted procedurally (notice, inventory, witness, disposal, refund of surplus). Threatening a fixed-day forced opening in a public notice is both poor customer conduct and difficult to defend if challenged.
3. Advise the manager on the SMS plan and on treating the notice as consent.
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Channel: the draft is roughly 95 words and cannot be compressed into 160 characters. Forcing it into an SMS would produce either an unfinished sentence or a misleading one. Treat the letter/notice as the operative communication and the SMS only as an alert: "Locker rent revised from 1 Oct 2024. Details in the letter sent to you / at your branch." A rent revision also needs proof of service - registered post or a verifiable email trail - not a broadcast message; retain the delivery records for the 1,240 addressees.
Consent: a notice is not consent. Silence after a unilateral notice does not create a contract variation unless the locker agreement contains a clause permitting revision on notice, and even then the customer must be told of the right to surrender the locker and take back the articles before the effective date. Treating the notice as consent would leave the bank unable to justify a charge that a customer later disputes.
Recommendation: issue the corrected notice by registered post/email, obtain acknowledgements where the agreement requires them, keep the SMS purely informational, and have the corrected liability wording cleared by the branch's legal officer before printing.