Embodies a Coaching Mindset
What you must know
A coaching mindset is a stance, not a technique. It rests on the assumption that the client is resourceful and is the authority on their own life. The competencies behind it: openness and curiosity, flexibility, tolerance of not-knowing, ongoing learning and supervision, and continual reflection on your own identity, context, culture, and biases. It also includes self-regulation - noticing your emotions, reactions, and physical state and choosing rather than reacting - plus caring for your own wellbeing so your needs do not leak into the session.
Traps
- The helper's urge. Questions that exist to satisfy the coach's need to be useful - rescuing, fixing, impressing - are the most common distractor pattern.
- Advice wearing a question mark: 'Don't you think you should...?'
- Imposing values: the coach's definition of success, balance, or ambition.
- Treating professional development as optional. Questions about supervision, feedback, and continued learning expect that you do these routinely.
Worked example
A client repeatedly commits to actions and does not follow through. The coach notices irritation and the thought that he isn't serious. A mindset response is to notice the judgement, drop the agenda, and ask with genuine curiosity what gets in the way - or to reopen the coaching agreement about how accountability will work. The unskilled response is to press harder or lecture about commitment.
Rule of thumb
When you feel the pull to fix, ask yourself: whose need is being served right now, the client's or mine? Then ask a question rather than offer an answer.