Clearing a Branch Notice Before It Goes on the Board and Out by SMS
The branch manager has drafted a notice for the notice board and the bulk SMS alert, and asks you to clear it before 5 p.m. The draft reads:
“Dear Customer, This is to inform that due to the annual audit, our branch will remained closed on 28 February. Customer having locker facility are requested to collect their keys before 25 February. We regret for the inconvenience caused and request you to kindly bear with us. For any enquiry, you may contact to the branch manager.”
The manager now wants to add the line: “The branch will remain closed until further notice.” Two members have already asked at the counter whether their salary credits will be delayed. The notice must keep three facts intact - the closure date, the locker deadline and a contact route - and it has to work both as a board display and as an SMS of under 60 words.
1. Identify the errors in the draft and give the correction for each with the reason.
Read the worked answer
| Draft wording | Correction | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| “will remained closed” | “will remain closed” | A modal verb takes the base form; “remained” is past tense and cannot follow “will”. |
| “This is to inform that” | “This is to inform you that” | “Inform” needs its object; without “you” the sentence is incomplete. |
| “Customer having locker facility are requested” | “Customers having locker facility are requested” | The verb “are” is plural, so the subject must be plural too. |
| “We regret for the inconvenience” | “We regret the inconvenience” | “Regret” takes a direct object; “for” is not used with it. |
| “you may contact to the branch manager” | “you may contact the branch manager” | “Contact” is transitive and takes no preposition. |
One further problem is not grammatical: the draft never says when the branch reopens. For a customer reading only the SMS, “closed on 28 February” leaves the next working day unknown, and that is what drives counter queries.
2. Rewrite the notice in under 60 words, keeping all three facts, in a register suitable for both the board and an SMS.
Read the worked answer
Model rewrite (54 words):
“Dear Customer, the branch will remain closed on 28 February for the annual audit and will reopen on 1 March. Locker holders are requested to collect their keys by 25 February. Salary and other credits will be posted as usual. For queries, contact the Branch Manager at 0XX-XXXXXXX. We regret the inconvenience.”
Why it works: the reopening date removes the main uncertainty; the locker instruction keeps its deadline; a concrete contact route replaces the vague “contact the branch manager”; and the sentence about credits answers the question two members have already asked. “Requested” is used instead of “kindly requested to bear with us”, which is wordy and, in an SMS, wastes the character budget. The address and tone stay formal without being stiff, and nothing is promised that the branch cannot deliver.
3. The manager wants to add: “The branch will remain closed until further notice.” Advise him, giving reasons.
Read the worked answer
Advise against it. Three problems.
First, it contradicts the rest of the notice. The closure is a one-day audit closure with a known reopening; “until further notice” says the opposite and makes the 28 February date meaningless.
Second, it creates the panic the branch is already managing. “Until further notice” reads as an indefinite shutdown to a member waiting for a salary credit or an EMI debit, and it invites exactly the counter rush the notice is meant to prevent.
Third, it is operationally vague. A customer-facing notice must state a definite date and a fallback channel. If the audit genuinely overruns, the correct instrument is a short follow-up notice issued on the day, not a pre-emptive open-ended sentence.
Suggested replacement: “In case the audit extends beyond 28 February, an update will be displayed at the branch and sent by SMS. Meanwhile, cheque clearing and salary credits will be handled at our Link Branch, Main Road.” That keeps the customer informed and the branch protected.