The Tree-Planting Paragraph
A student's paragraph for the school magazine reads: 'On 5 June we planted trees in the school compound. The students of Class IX and X gathered at 7 a.m. They were given saplings by the horticulture teacher. We dug pits and watered them. The principal also planted a mango sapling. It was a very nice programme. The saplings were planted in rows. Everyone enjoyed it. The programme ended with a vote of thanks by the head girl.' The magazine has a 100-word limit and asks for clear pronoun reference and logical order. The editor says the paragraph is not wrong everywhere, but three things must be fixed: the word 'them' does not clearly refer to pits or saplings; 'It' and 'it' are vague; and the order jumps between general and specific details. The student wants to keep every sentence. You must decide which sentence is least useful, how to reorder the rest, and how to revise without adding new information.
1. Identify two pronoun-reference problems and one vague evaluative word in the paragraph. Explain what each problem does to the reader.
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We dug pits and watered them: them could refer to pits or saplings. Watering pits is not impossible, but watering saplings is the likely meaning; the reader should not have to guess. It was a very nice programme: It could refer to the programme or to the mango sapling; the sentence is also vague because nice evaluates without saying what was good. Everyone enjoyed it: it could be the programme or the planting. These problems slow the reader and make the paragraph feel loosely connected. The fix is to repeat the noun or restructure: We dug pits and watered the saplings; The programme was well organised; Everyone enjoyed the programme.
2. One sentence is least useful and should be cut to meet the 100-word limit. Identify it and explain why the rest can stay.
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It was a very nice programme is the least useful sentence. It adds an evaluation but no new event, and nice is too vague for a magazine report. Everyone enjoyed it also evaluates, but it at least reports a response; if the word limit is tight, that could go too. The other sentences give concrete information: date, classes, time, saplings, pits, the principal's mango sapling, rows, and the vote of thanks. Cutting the vague evaluation tightens the paragraph without losing facts. The student's wish to keep every sentence cannot override the magazine's 100-word limit and need for clarity.
3. Reorder the remaining sentences into a logical paragraph and revise it to 80–90 words without adding new information.
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On the morning of 5 June, the students of Classes IX and X gathered in the school compound at 7 a.m. for the tree-planting programme. They were given saplings by the horticulture teacher. All the students then dug pits, planted the saplings in rows, and watered the saplings carefully. The principal also planted a mango sapling in the compound. The programme ended with a vote of thanks by the head girl of the school. Everyone enjoyed the programme very much.
Reasoning: I start with date, classes, place, and time, then move to the saplings and planting, then the principal's action, then the closing. them becomes the saplings; it becomes the programme. I cut It was a very nice programme. The revision is exactly 80 words. It adds only linking adverbs such as then and carefully, not new events.