The Email That Broke Three Rules at Once
Arjun, a Class XII student, drafts an email to his principal requesting that the annual function be moved from 18 November to 25 November because the Class XII board practicals begin on 17 November. The notice for the function has already gone to parents. The school rule requires such requests to be routed through the class teacher, and the principal's circular asks for emails of 120–150 words with a clear subject line. Arjun's draft runs to 168 words, opens 'Hey Sir', uses 'we're', 'can't' and 'ASAP', and ends with 'Please do the needful or we'll all suffer.' It gives the clash and the requested date but does not mention the class teacher or the already-issued notice. His teacher, Mr Nair, must decide which changes are non-negotiable for marks and which would sand off Arjun's legitimate urgency.
1. List the three non-negotiable revisions Mr Nair should insist on, with reasons tied to the constraints.
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- Register. 'Hey Sir' and contractions such as 'we're' and 'can't' do not fit a formal request to a principal. This is not a personality issue; the circular sets a formal email task, and register is part of the writing mark.
- Length and subject line. The draft is 168 words against a 120–150 limit, and no subject line is mentioned. Both are explicit constraints, so both must be fixed before content is polished.
- Procedure. The request must be routed through the class teacher, and the email should acknowledge that the notice has already gone to parents. Omitting this makes the request look uninformed rather than urgent.
Mr Nair should not remove the reason for urgency; he should make it precise and place it inside the required procedure.
2. Arjun protests that 'Please do the needful' is formal Indian English and should not be marked wrong. How should Mr Nair respond?
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Mr Nair should separate correctness from effectiveness. The phrase is not a grammar error, so it should not be marked as one. But it is vague: it does not say what the principal should do, and 'or we'll all suffer' shifts the problem onto the principal as a threat. In a 120–150-word formal email, the closing should make a precise request and offer a solution. A better close would be: 'I request permission to move the function to 25 November, and I have attached the practicals timetable for your reference.' The student can keep polite formality without relying on a formula that hides the action required.
3. Rewrite the final two sentences to keep urgency but add the missing procedural detail, in 35 words or fewer.
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Model rewrite: 'I have asked my class teacher to forward this request. Kindly permit the function to be moved to 25 November so that Class XII candidates are not caught between practicals and rehearsals.' (33 words)
The rewrite keeps the clash and the requested date, but it adds the route through the class teacher and states the consequence without the threat. It also avoids 'do the needful', which would leave the action unclear.