Correcting a Branch Notice Without Over-Correcting It
A branch in Jammu is to remain closed on 25 March 2025 for the annual closing of accounts, and from 1 April 2025 the branch will function from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. instead of 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. The branch head drafts a customer notice in five sentences: (1) 'This is to inform that our branch will remain closed on 25 March 2025 on account of annual closing of accounts.' (2) 'Customers are requested to kindly note that the branch timings has been revised.' (3) 'The branch will function from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. onwards from 1 April 2025.' (4) 'Neither the passbook nor the cheque book will be issued during the closure.' (5) 'For further query, customers may contact the branch manager.' A clerk proposes adding 'strictly' before 'closed' and 'is deeply regretted by us' at the end, arguing that the notice will then sound more official. Before it goes on the board, you must decide what genuinely needs correcting and what should be left alone.
1. Identify which of the five sentences contain errors, name the specific fault in each, and state which sentence should be left unchanged.
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Sentence (1): the verb 'inform' is transitive and needs a stated object. 'This is to inform that...' should be 'This is to inform customers/all concerned that...' or 'This is to inform you that...'.
Sentence (2): two faults. 'Timings has been revised' breaks subject-verb agreement - 'timings' is plural, so 'timings have been revised'. Also 'requested to kindly note' doubles the politeness marker; 'are requested to note' is sufficient.
Sentence (3): 'from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. onwards' is illogical, because 'from...to' already defines a closed span and 'onwards' implies an open one. Options: 'will function from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. with effect from 1 April 2025', or 'new timings, 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., apply from 1 April 2025'.
Sentence (4): correct as it stands. 'Neither...nor' agrees with the nearer singular subject, and 'will be issued' is right. It must not be 'corrected'.
Sentence (5): 'further query' should be 'any further queries' - countable noun, and the determiner is needed in negatives and questions.
2. Rewrite the notice in no more than 45 words, keeping every fact and removing the faults, without adding new content.
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Model rewrite (43 words):
'The branch will remain closed on 25 March 2025 for the annual closing of accounts. From 1 April 2025, branch timings will be 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Passbooks and cheque books will not be issued on the closure day. For any further queries, please contact the Branch Manager.'
Why this version holds: both dates survive, both facts about the closure survive (branch shut, no passbook or cheque book issue), the old timing is implied by the new one, and the contact instruction survives. The transitivity fault of (1) disappears because the notice now states the fact directly rather than announcing that it will inform. The agreement fault of (2) disappears because 'timings will be' is used. The 'from...to...onwards' clash of (3) disappears because the span is closed. Sentence (4) is retained in meaning and grammar. Nothing new - no new penalty clause, no new scheme - has been introduced.
3. The clerk wants 'strictly closed' and 'is deeply regretted by us' added. Assess this advice against the standards of a bank customer notice.
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The advice should be declined on three grounds.
First, accuracy: 'strictly closed' adds a restriction the branch does not intend - customers may read it as 'closed to some customers' or as implying an exception, when the closure is total. Precision, not intensification, is what a notice needs.
Second, grammar and economy: 'is deeply regretted by us' is a passive construction with a redundant agent - 'we' is obvious - and 'deeply' overstates a routine annual closure. If a regret line is wanted at all, 'We regret the inconvenience' is standard.
Third, register: bank notices are read for facts, often in a hurry, sometimes on a phone screen. Plain formal English, short sentences, one instruction per line, is the appropriate register. Piling on 'kindly', 'strictly' and 'deeply' makes the text longer without making it clearer, and in a notice board context the extra words compete with the two things customers actually need - the dates and the new timings.