The striker who wants to be left out

It is not a skill problem. Her technique has not disappeared: she still scores 6/10 alone, takes a normal run-up and has nine goals from open play. What has disappeared is her ability to produce that skill when she feels judged.

What is actually happening:

• Cognitive anxiety - the 'blank mind', the worry about repeating the miss, the replaying of the semi-final.
• Somatic anxiety - shaking hands, dry mouth, rushed run-up, all signs of high physiological arousal.
• Specific loss of self-efficacy - a drop in her belief that she can do this particular task, shown by her wanting to be left out. Note she is confident elsewhere; the belief has collapsed around penalties, not around herself.
• Avoidance behaviour - fetching balls instead of taking her turn. This is the most worrying sign, because every avoided kick confirms to her that the situation is dangerous.

Why the coach's approach backfired:

• The inverted-U principle says each performer has an optimum arousal level. Priya was already well above hers; shouting 'get pumped' added more arousal and pushed her further down the performance curve.
• Making the squad watch created a strong evaluation situation - precisely the condition that triggers her problem. It was exposure without support, so her failure was public.
• The instruction 'show some fire' also told her that her calm, careful state was wrong, taking away the one thing that steadies her.

A three-out-of-ten session under those conditions is evidence about the conditions, not about her ability.

One day is enough to change the routine and the environment, not to rebuild her technique.

With Priya:

1. Re-label the arousal. Explain that a dry mouth and shaking hands are the body getting ready, not a sign of collapse; every striker has them. Naming them reduces their threat.
2. Breathing to lower arousal: a simple pattern - in for 4, hold for 2, out for 6 - three times before placing the ball. Long exhalation lowers heart rate.
3. Build a fixed pre-kick routine she can run like a machine: place the ball, two steps back, one look at the target, cue word ('low and true' or 'my corner'), breathe, strike. The routine occupies the mind that was going blank.
4. Imagery: ten minutes daily of scoring the same penalty - the run-up, the sound of the ball, the net moving. Vivid, first-person, successful.
5. Self-talk that is factual, not cheerleading: 'Nine goals this tournament. Six out of ten even when nervous. I have done this before.' Facts are harder to argue with than 'be confident'.
6. Graduated exposure today: five kicks alone, five with one teammate watching from behind the goal, five with a small group. Success is defined as using the routine, not as scoring.

With the coach:

• No shouting or pumping up before her kicks; neutral, calm instructions.
• Do not remove her from the list - that rewards avoidance and confirms her fear. Instead, put her earlier in the order (positions 1–3) so the kick is less decisive, and tell her exactly why.
• Score the process in training this week, not just the goals.

Match day: keep the routine, use the breath if her hands shake, and judge the day on the routine being run, whatever the result.

In the last sixty seconds, do less, not more.

• One short cue only. Not a speech. Something like: 'Breathe out long. Pick your corner. Same routine.' Long instructions become new information to worry about.
• Physically settle her: shoulders down, three slow exhalations, one confident look at the goal. Do not tell her to 'relax completely' - she needs controlled readiness, not sleepiness.
• Take the outcome off the table: 'You are being judged on running your routine, nothing else.' This is a process goal and it is the single most useful sentence you can say.
• Keep the environment quiet: ask teammates not to crowd her or shout advice.
• Then step back and say nothing. Additional talking is usually the helper's anxiety, not hers.

If she says she cannot take it:

• Do not overrule her by force. A player who refuses will not strike well, and dragging her to the spot is a public humiliation that will make the next occasion worse.
• Ask once, calmly, with a way back: 'You have done this hundreds of times. Take the kick and run your routine - or tell me now and I will change the order.' Give her a short, private choice, not a crowd decision.
• If she still refuses, change the order without comment and protect her from teasing. Afterwards, talk to her and the coach: the problem has not gone away and needs planned work over weeks, possibly with the school counsellor.
• Note the wider point: an adolescent who suddenly avoids a specific sporting situation may have other pressures too. If avoidance spreads beyond penalties, or sleep and mood change, it should be raised with the counsellor and parents, not handled by a coach alone.