The Host-Family Message: « Je vous attends » and the 80-Word Limit
The writing task says: « Vous écrivez à votre famille d'accueil à Lyon. Votre train a du retard à cause d'une grève. Vous arriverez à 21 h au lieu de 18 h. Écrivez un message de 60 à 80 mots. Utilisez le vouvoiement. » Rohan writes 82 words: « Bonjour, Je suis désolé, mon train est en retard parce qu'il y a une grève. Je vais arriver à 21h, pas à 18h. Ne vous inquiétez pas. Je vous attends à la gare. Merci de votre compréhension. À bientôt. Rohan » The mark scheme allots 4 marks: 2 for content (delay, cause, new time), 1 for register/format, 1 for language. There is no explicit penalty for 2 extra words, but the teacher must decide whether to count « Bonjour » and the signature. Rohan's grammar is otherwise sound at B1.
1. Give a mark out of 4 and explain how you allocated content, register, and language. Treat the word-count issue explicitly.
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Award 3/4.
- Content 2/2: all three required elements are present - the delay, the cause (une grève), and the new arrival time (21 h au lieu de 18 h).
- Register/format 1/1: the candidate uses vous consistently: vous inquiétez, votre compréhension. “Bonjour” is acceptable for a host family the student knows, and the signature is appropriate for a message.
- Language 0/1: « Je vous attends à la gare » is a meaning error. It means “I am waiting for you at the station”, which reverses the situation. The host family is not waiting for Rohan; Rohan is arriving and wants them to meet him or wait for him. Because the error affects the message's practical purpose, it prevents the language mark.
Word count: the message is 82 words if Bonjour and Rohan are counted. There is no stated penalty, so do not deduct automatically; the instruction says 60-80 words, and 2 words over is usually tolerated unless the paper specifies a strict limit. However, feedback should say that the candidate is over the limit and that Bonjour and the signature are normally counted in a message. Do not create a double penalty by deducting for both length and the same language error.
2. Rewrite only the problematic sentence so that it conveys the intended meaning in natural French, and explain the pronoun/verb difference between « je vous attends » and your replacement.
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Possible rewrites:
- « Je vous retrouverai à la gare à 21 h. »
- « Pouvez-vous m'attendre à la gare, s'il vous plaît ? »
- « J'arriverai à la gare à 21 h ; pouvez-vous venir m'y chercher ? »
The key contrast is:
- attendre quelqu'un = “to wait for someone”. In je vous attends, vous is the direct object: “I am waiting for you.”
- retrouver quelqu'un = “to meet (up with) someone”. Je vous retrouverai = “I will meet you.”
- attendre que + subjunctive would be needed for “I'll wait until you come”: J'attends que vous arriviez.
If the candidate wants to ask the family to wait, the object must change: Pouvez-vous m'attendre ? (“Can you wait for me?”), with me as the direct object of attendre. The original sentence is grammatically well formed but pragmatically wrong, which is why a pure grammar check would miss it.
3. A classmate says the message is “too formal” because it says « Bonjour » and « Merci de votre compréhension ». Decide whether to change the register, and justify with the relationship and the task.
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Do not switch to tu: the task explicitly requires le vouvoiement, and the host family are adults hosting a student, so vous is the safe default. The message is not too formal in its grammar; it is slightly administrative in vocabulary. « Merci de votre compréhension » sounds like a notice or an email from an organisation. For a host family, « Merci beaucoup pour votre patience » or « Merci de votre patience » is warmer and more natural.
Suggested adjustment: « Bonjour, Je suis désolé, mon train a du retard à cause d'une grève. J'arriverai à 21 h au lieu de 18 h. Ne vous inquiétez pas. Pouvez-vous m'attendre à la gare, s'il vous plaît ? Merci beaucoup. À bientôt, Rohan »
Reasoning: register is not only tu/vous. It also involves lexical choice and the relationship between writer and reader. Here the required politeness is maintained, but the tone becomes more personal without becoming informal. Changing vous to tu would violate the instruction and damage the examiner's register mark.