Respected Riya: Register and Format in Two Letters
The Class X Students' Council of a Kharagpur school is organising a free eye-check-up camp on 18 August, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., in the school hall, with two doctors from the district hospital. You are the secretary, Ananya Sen. She must write two pieces: (a) a formal letter to Dr Arindam Bose, ophthalmologist, inviting him to attend and to speak for ten minutes; (b) an informal letter to her friend Riya in another town describing the camp and asking her to tell her younger brother about it. Instructions say 120-150 words for (a) and 100-120 for (b). Ananya's draft of (a) opens 'Respected Sir, I am Ananya Sen, Secretary...' and closes 'Yours faithfully, Ananya'; her draft of (b) opens 'Respected Riya,' and closes 'Yours faithfully.' Riya says the second is 'just polite'. The teacher must decide how much of the 10 marks for format to deduct, and what to write in the margin.
1. Mark the two letters on format alone and justify the deductions with a principle rather than a list of rules.
Read the worked answer
Principle: format marks reward consistency of register with the relationship, not conformity to one template.
Letter (a) - formal. 'Respected Sir' with 'Yours faithfully' is internally consistent and standard in Indian school correspondence, so it should not be penalised. If the salutation names the recipient ('Dear Dr Bose'), the matching close is 'Yours sincerely'; the pair must match. Letter (a) therefore loses nothing on format provided the pair is consistent, the sender's address and the date are present, a subject line is included where the school requires it, and the body sits in the 120-150 word range.
Letter (b) - informal. This is where the marks go. 'Respected Riya' with 'Yours faithfully' imports the formal register wholesale into a letter to a friend. Riya's remark that it is 'just polite' misses the point: politeness is not the issue, relationship is. A friend is addressed as 'Dear Riya' and closed with 'Yours lovingly', 'With love' or 'Take care'. Deduct 1-2 of the format marks and write a margin comment naming the fault as register, not as bad manners.
Two cautions. Do not deduct twice for a single fault, and do not demand 'Respected Sir' in every formal letter regardless of whether the recipient is named - that teaches a template instead of a principle. Put the principle on the board as a triple: named recipient → Dear + name → Yours sincerely; unnamed → Dear Sir/Madam → Yours faithfully; friend → Dear + first name → warm close.
2. Rewrite the opening three lines of letter (a) so that the invitation appears in the first sentence and the word limit is respected. Explain what you cut and why.
Read the worked answer
The draft opening, in effect: 'Respected Sir, I am Ananya Sen, the Secretary of the Students' Council of ... School. I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing this letter to invite you...'
Rewritten, first three lines:
'I am writing on behalf of the Students' Council of Kharagpur Collegiate School to invite you to a free eye-check-up camp in our school hall on 18 August, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
We would be grateful if you could examine students during the camp and speak for ten minutes at the opening.
A second doctor from the district hospital has already agreed to attend, and your presence would make the camp complete.'
What was cut and why:
- 'I hope this letter finds you in good health' - a courtesy formula carrying no information. In a 150-word limit it costs about nine words and earns nothing.
- Delayed purpose - the invitation now sits in the first sentence. A mark scheme that rewards 'clear statement of purpose' should be able to find it in one reading.
- Stacked politeness ('kindly', 'please', 'humbly request') - one polite formula is enough; three read as padding.
What must stay: the sender's identity and role, date, time and venue, both specific requests (examination and the ten-minute speech), and a request for confirmation. Specificity is what makes a letter formal; shortening must remove formula, never facts.