The Uniform Paragraph That Mentions but Does Not Answer a Counterargument
A student is writing a 40–60-word opinion paragraph for the Iwate free-writing task. The prompt is: 'Some schools require uniforms. Do you think uniforms are a good idea? Give one reason and answer one opposing idea.' The student's draft is: 'I think school uniforms are good because they save time. Also, students don't have to choose clothes every morning, so they can focus on studying. However, uniforms are expensive. So I think uniforms are good.' The draft is 47 words. The student has included a counterargument ('uniforms are expensive') but has not responded to it. The student also begins a sentence with 'So,' and the teacher has marked that as too informal for this exam. The student wants to keep the same ideas but fix the structure and word count.
1. Revise the paragraph to 50–60 words so that it answers the opposing idea and avoids the informal 'So.'
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One acceptable revision is: 'I think school uniforms are a good idea because they save time. Students do not have to choose clothes every morning, so they can focus on studying. Although uniforms can be expensive, families can buy second-hand ones or reuse older uniforms. For these reasons, I believe uniforms are useful.' This version is 51 words. The key change is the although clause. It does not merely mention cost; it responds by offering a practical way to reduce cost. The phrase 'For these reasons' replaces the informal 'So' and signals a formal conclusion. The reason is also expanded: 'they save time' is supported by the morning-choice detail and the study-focus result. The revision keeps the student's opinion, one reason, and one answered counterargument, which is what the prompt requires. Check the word count after revision, because adding a response can push a short draft over the limit.
2. Explain why simply adding 'but it is still good' after 'uniforms are expensive' would not fully satisfy the task.
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The prompt asks the writer to answer an opposing idea, not just repeat the opinion after it. 'Uniforms are expensive, but it is still good' mentions the cost and then asserts the conclusion again. It does not tell the reader how to deal with the cost, so the opposing idea remains unanswered. An answer can either concede and qualify ('cost can be reduced by second-hand uniforms') or rebut ('the cost is lower over several years than buying many outfits'). A bare 'but it is still good' is a bare assertion; it gives no reason and may read as ignoring the problem. It also wastes words in a 40–60-word task. The examiner is checking whether the writer can maintain a position while responding to a real objection. Teach the student to attach a specific response to the objection: 'Although X, Y' or 'X is true, but Z reduces the problem.'