Festival Email to a Pen Pal: 30–40 Words
Your English teacher asks you to write a short email to a pen pal in Canada, Emma. The email must do three things: (1) invite her to your school festival, (2) give the date, time, and one activity, and (3) ask one question. You must write 30–40 words. You want to sound friendly but clear. You know the festival is on Saturday, October 12, from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Your class will sell taco rice, a local favorite. You must not translate 'Yoroshiku onegaishimasu' directly. A classmate suggests writing 'I want you to come to my festival.' You think it sounds too direct. Your teacher will check that your question uses correct word order. The email needs a greeting and a closing.
1. Write the email in 30–40 words. Count the words and state the count.
Read the worked answer
Model email:
Hi Emma,
Our school festival is on Saturday, October 12, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. My class is selling taco rice. Would you like to come?
Yuki
Word count: 33 words (Hi1 Emma2 Our3 school4 festival5 is6 on7 Saturday8 October9 12,10 from11 9 12 a.m.13 to14 3 15 p.m.16 My17 class18 is19 selling20 taco21 rice22 Would23 you24 like25 to26 come27 Yuki28). Wait - recount carefully: the greeting and closing are included, and the model is 28 words. To reach 30–40, add one short sentence: It is a lot of fun. That makes 32 words.
Revised model:
Hi Emma,
Our school festival is on Saturday, October 12, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. My class is selling taco rice. It is a lot of fun. Would you like to come?
Yuki
Count: 32 words.
2. Explain two choices: why you used 'Would you like to come?' and why you did not translate 'Yoroshiku onegaishimasu' directly.
Read the worked answer
Would you like to come? is a polite invitation and a clear question. It uses the order auxiliary + subject + verb (Would you like ...), which is the correct question word order the teacher will check. I want you to come is grammatical but sounds like pressure, not an invitation.
I did not translate Yoroshiku onegaishimasu because a direct translation such as Please treat me well would confuse a Canadian pen pal in this context. The phrase carries Japanese social meaning that does not fit a short festival email. The email already sounds friendly through the greeting, the invitation, and the question, so the meaning is kept without a word-for-word translation.
3. A classmate writes: 'Our school festival is on Saturday, October 12, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., and my class is selling taco rice, and would you like to come?' What is the main writing problem?
Read the worked answer
The main problem is that three ideas are joined with and into one long sentence, so the invitation question is buried. The question also loses its clear question form at the end. Better is to separate the information from the invitation: Our school festival is on Saturday, October 12, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. My class is selling taco rice. Would you like to come? This keeps the date, time, activity, and question clear, and it respects the 30–40 word limit.