Trainee Clerk Application: Punctuation, Spelling and the Right Closing
A final-year student drafts an email to a bank's HR officer: 'Dear Sir, I am writing to apply for the post of trainee clerk which was advertised on your website. I have completed my A Levels in Commerce, Economics and English and I am currently following a course in accounting. I believe I am a good team player, I work well under pressure and I am eager to learn. Please find my CV attached. I hope to recieve your reply soon and I am available for an interview at your convenience. Thanking you, Yours faithfully, [Name]' The advertisement names the contact as Ms. Perera, but the student does not know whether she is married. The draft has a comma splice, a spelling error, a punctuation problem in the closing, and a salutation that does not match the known name. You are asked to correct it without changing the student's qualifications or experience.
1. Correct the email. Identify each change as punctuation, spelling, or register.
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Corrected version: 'Dear Ms Perera, I am writing to apply for the post of trainee clerk, which was advertised on your website. I have completed my A Levels in Commerce, Economics and English, and I am currently following a course in accounting. I believe I am a good team player; I work well under pressure and I am eager to learn. Please find my CV attached. I look forward to hearing from you, and I am available for an interview at your convenience. Yours sincerely, [Name].'
Changes: (1) Dear Sir -> Dear Ms Perera: the name is known, and 'Ms' avoids guessing marital status. This is register and accuracy. (2) The comma splice after 'team player' -> semicolon (or 'and'): punctuation. (3) recieve -> receive: spelling (i before e except after c). (4) 'Thanking you, Yours faithfully' -> 'Yours sincerely': with a named recipient, 'Yours sincerely' is the standard British closing; 'Thanking you' is redundant with it. (5) 'I hope to receive your reply soon' -> 'I look forward to hearing from you': register, less presumptuous. Optional: a comma before 'which' is acceptable as a non-defining clause, but the original is not wrong if the clause is restrictive; the main errors are the five above.
2. Why is 'Dear Sir' a problem when the name is known, and why is 'Dear Ms Perera' safer than 'Dear Mrs Perera'?
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'Dear Sir' ignores information the applicant already has. It reads as a generic mail-merge salutation and can suggest carelessness-exactly the impression a trainee clerk should avoid. 'Dear Ms Perera' is safer than 'Dear Mrs Perera' because 'Mrs' asserts that the recipient is married, which the student does not know; 'Miss' asserts that she is unmarried. 'Ms' is the standard neutral title for a woman in British business English and does not require the writer to know or reveal marital status. If the advertisement had given no name, 'Dear Sir or Madam' would be the correct fallback.
3. The phrase 'I hope to receive your reply soon' is grammatically correct. Why might an HR officer still find it slightly inappropriate?
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Grammatically it is fine, but 'I hope to receive your reply soon' can sound as if the writer is setting a deadline for the HR officer. In an application, the reader already knows a reply is expected; the phrase adds pressure rather than courtesy. 'I look forward to hearing from you' is the conventional formula: it expresses interest without demanding a time. The original is not rude, but register is about fit, not grammar-and a formal application benefits from the more neutral, established closing.