The Client Who Wants a Stack, a Brand, and a Plan for His Son
Tomas, 34, has been your client for five months; he has lost 6 kg and deadlifts 180 kg. He now wants "the next level." He sends screenshots of a supplement stack containing Tribulus terrestris, D-aspartic acid, and zinc, and asks you to (a) tell him which brand is best, (b) tell him exactly what dose to take, and (c) write a "lean bulk" meal plan for his 15-year-old son, who plays competitive hockey and "needs to get bigger." The son is 15, 178 cm, and 62 kg; Tomas says the pediatrician "said it's fine." Later in the same conversation Tomas mentions he is considering a SARMs cycle he found online and asks you to keep it "between us."
1. Where are the scope and ethics lines for each of the three requests?
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Brand and dose: you can educate, you cannot prescribe. Explain that in the United States dietary supplements are not reviewed for safety and efficacy before sale, and that third-party testing marks such as NSF Certified for Sport or Informed Sport are the practical screen for contamination. You can also note that the evidence for Tribulus terrestris and D-aspartic acid for raising testosterone in healthy men is weak and inconsistent, and that zinc has a tolerable upper intake level of 40 mg per day for adults - exceeding it chronically interferes with copper status. What you decline is naming a winning brand and issuing a dosing protocol, which is prescriptive advice on a product with no demonstrated benefit.
The 15-year-old: parental consent plus the adolescent's assent is necessary but not sufficient. A 62 kg, 178 cm 15-year-old is a growing athlete whose energy and protein needs are tied to growth and sport, not to a bodybuilding surplus. "The pediatrician said it's fine" is hearsay; you have no note, no clearance, and no assessment of the son. Refer to a sports dietitian with adolescent experience, and offer general family-level guidance.
SARMs: you do not advise on use, dosing, sourcing, or cycling of an unapproved substance, and you do not promise secrecy about it.
2. How do you handle "keep it between us"?
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Address it immediately and in writing rather than sidestepping it. Review the confidentiality section of your coaching agreement and state plainly: "What we discuss stays here with two exceptions - if I believe you or someone else is in immediate danger, or if I'm legally required to disclose something. I'm not a physician and I don't have medical privilege."
Then be specific about the SARMs: you will not help him source, dose, or cycle them, and you are not the right person to manage whatever he decides. Say what you actually think once, briefly and without a lecture: SARMs are not approved for human use, are banned in sport, have been associated with liver and cardiovascular harm, and the supply chain is unregulated. Then point him at his physician.
Do not create a secret you will have to carry. If he discloses use and you are coaching him, document the conversation and the advice you gave. If there is a minor involved, the parent conversation is not optional in the same way - that is a different channel and a different set of obligations.
The coaching skill here is holding a firm limit without contempt. "I'm not going to be the person who helps you do this, and I'm still going to be the person who helps you train and eat well this month."
3. Write the actual words. How do you say no to the son's meal plan and still keep Tomas as a client?
Read the worked answer
"I'm going to say yes to two of these and no to one, and I want to be straight about why.
On the supplement - I'll happily walk you through how to read a label and which third-party testing marks actually mean something. I won't tell you a brand and a dose, because that's prescribing and it's not my role. Worth knowing: the evidence behind those three ingredients is thin, and zinc has a ceiling around 40 mg a day before it starts causing problems.
On your son - this is the no, and it's not because I don't want to help. He's 15, he's 178 cm and 62 kg, and he's still growing. A lean-bulk plan for an adolescent athlete needs someone who can assess his growth curve and his hockey load, and that's a sports dietitian, not me. What I can do is sit down with both of you and talk about what a competitive teenage athlete's plate looks like - enough fuel before practice, protein at meals, sleep. If you can get a note from his pediatrician with the actual details, I'll read it, but I still want the dietitian involved.
On the SARMs - I'm not going to be any help there, and I'd rather you hear it from me than a forum. Talk to your doctor."
Then stop talking. Silence after a clear boundary is doing work, not failing to do it.