Email to a work placement company
You are in the third year of your VMBO course and you have found a two-week work placement at a bicycle shop, Hale Cycles, in Norwich. Your teacher, Ms de Vries, gives you the details.
- You start on Monday 14 April. You will come by bus from the station and you will be at the shop at 09:00.
- The owner is Mr Peter Hale. You have never met him or written to him before.
- You must send him one email in English of 60–80 words.
- You must include these four points: (1) confirm the date and time you start; (2) ask what you should wear; (3) say that you cannot eat cheese; (4) ask if the shop pays for the bus ticket.
- You must not include: that you are nervous about your English, that your friend might visit you in Norwich, or the name of your old weekend job at a supermarket.
- Ms de Vries checks the greeting and closing, the politeness of your questions, and that there are no Dutch words in the email.
1. Choose the best opening and closing for this email and explain why the other three options are wrong. (a) Hey Peter! ... Bye! (b) Dear Mr Hale, ... Yours sincerely, (c) Dear Sir, ... Yours faithfully, (d) Hello Mr Hale, ... Kind regards,
Read the worked answer
Option (b) is the best choice. You know the man's name, so 'Dear Mr Hale' is correct and respectful, and 'Yours sincerely' matches a named person in a formal letter or email.
- (a) is far too informal: 'Hey Peter!' and 'Bye!' are for friends. Using the owner's first name before you have ever met him is rude in a work situation.
- (c) is not wrong grammar, but 'Dear Sir' and 'Yours faithfully' are for when you do not know the name. Here you do know it, so it looks as if you did not read the information properly.
- (d) is acceptable in real life and many bike shops would not mind, but 'Hello Mr Hale' is a little less formal than (b). If you want the safest choice for a first email to an employer, take (b).
The rule to remember: name known = Mr/Mrs/Ms + surname and 'Yours sincerely'; name unknown = 'Dear Sir or Madam' and 'Yours faithfully'.
2. Write the email (60–80 words) with all four points and none of the forbidden information.
Read the worked answer
Dear Mr Hale,
I am writing to confirm my work placement. I will start on Monday 14 April at 09:00.
Could you please tell me what I should wear? Also, I cannot eat cheese, so I would like to bring my own lunch. Finally, does the shop pay for the bus ticket?
Thank you for your help. I am looking forward to meeting you.
Kind regards, Sam de Jong
Check: 69 words, inside the 60–80 limit. Points (1) date and time, (2) clothing question, (3) cheese, (4) bus ticket are all there. 'Could you please tell me...' and 'does the shop pay...' are polite question forms. There are no Dutch words and no extra personal information. The words 'I am writing to confirm' tell Mr Hale in one line why he is reading this.
3. Explain why the three forbidden details must stay out of the email, even though they are true.
Read the worked answer
- 'I am nervous about my English' makes you sound unsure of yourself before you have even arrived. The owner wants a student who can do the job; your nerves are for your teacher, not for him.
- 'My friend might visit me in Norwich' is private and gives the wrong impression - an employer may read it as 'this student will be distracted or will want time off'.
- Your old supermarket job is not relevant to a bike shop and costs words you do not have: the limit is 60–80 words, and every sentence must earn its place. If you add it, you either go over the limit or drop one of the four points you were told to include.
The test is not only 'can you write English' but 'can you choose what the reader needs'. Extra information is not neutral - it weakens the message and it breaks the word limit.