A 90-second persuasive pitch for a Mandarin immersion camp
Your Year 11 Chinese class of 24 students must deliver a 90-second spoken piece in Mandarin for the Communicate for a Chosen Purpose standard. You choose to persuade classmates to sign up for the school's first Mandarin immersion camp: one weekend in Term 3 at Waikanae, $40, 20 places only, no phones allowed, with dumpling cooking, a treasure hunt, and a calligraphy session with a visiting teacher from Shanghai. Your teacher requires at least one 因为…所以…, one 虽然…但是…, one direct invitation or imperative, and a clear action at the end. Ninety seconds is roughly 170–200 spoken syllables at your pace. Your classmates' likely objections are 太贵了, 没有时间, and 我的中文不好. You get one rehearsal in front of two classmates before the assessment.
1. Give the first three sentences of your speech and justify the choice of opening.
Read the worked answer
Opening: 「只有二十个名额。你想用这个周末打游戏，还是去 Waikanae 包饺子？如果你想认识上海来的老师，请听我说。」
Justification:
- No 大家好，今天我要说一说… In 90 seconds that formula costs roughly 12–15 syllables and signals a school speech, not a pitch. It also delays the only information that creates urgency.
- Scarcity first. 只有二十个名额 is the single most persuasive fact you own, and it decays with time - the longer you wait, the more it sounds like a detail rather than a deadline.
- A question forces a choice. 打游戏还是包饺子 puts the audience inside a comparison they have already made, rather than asking them to admire the camp.
- 为什么第二句用「你」而不是「我们」. 我们 lets listeners stay spectators; 你 makes each of the 24 people the subject of the decision.
- Kept short so the remaining 75 seconds can carry the activities, the price answer and the ask.
2. Write the closing four sentences, including the ask and a response to the cost objection. Explain why the 虽然…但是… and the ask sit where they do.
Read the worked answer
Closing: 「虽然四十块听起来有一点贵，但是包括两天的饭和住宿，所以一天只要十块钱。因为只有二十个名额，所以想去的同学今天放学以前告诉我。请把你的名字写在这张纸上。谢谢大家。」
Why this order:
- Name the objection before the audience does. 虽然四十块…但是… is the inoculation move: the objection is already in their heads, so leaving it unspoken leaves it unanswered. Answering it early also stops a listener from spending the rest of the speech rehearsing it.
- 因为…所以… immediately before the ask. The 因为 clause (only 20 places) is the reason, and the 所以 clause is the action. Placing them adjacent makes the ask feel like the logical conclusion rather than an extra favour.
- A concrete verb, not 欢迎大家. 请把名字写在这张纸上是 observable: you can count signatures. 欢迎大家参加 produces nods and nothing else.
- 谢谢 after the ask, not before. Saying thanks before asking reads as a closing signal; the audience stops listening for the action.
- I did not rebut 我的中文不好 in the closing - with 90 seconds there is only room for one objection to be handled properly.
3. You rehearse and at 60 seconds you are still describing activities. What do you cut, and on what basis?
Read the worked answer
Cut the calligraphy description first; keep the scarcity fact, the price answer and the ask.
Basis for the decision:
- What carries the marks. The purpose is to persuade, so the ask and the reason behind it are load-bearing. An activity list is supporting evidence; if the ask is rushed or dropped, the piece fails its own purpose no matter how pretty the description was.
- What is replaceable. 书法 can become four syllables in a list (包饺子、寻宝、书法) instead of a 15-second description. No information is lost that a listener needs in order to sign.
- What cannot be recovered later. The scarcity fact and the instruction to write a name are the only time-critical items; activities can be discovered on the day.
- Practical fix for the rehearsal. Time the cut version and count syllables per section (hook 15, activities 30, objection 20, ask 15). If it still overruns, shorten the hook, not the ask.
- Do not cut the 虽然…但是… simply because it feels slow - it is a stated requirement and it does persuasive work.