Writing: The homestay complaint that must stay formal
An NCEA Level 3 Spanish writing task asks for a formal email of 150–180 words to the director of a language school in Salamanca. The candidate, Priya, must complain about two problems during a two-week homestay: her room was advertised with a desk and a shared bathroom with two people, but she has no desk and shares with five; and her conversation class was moved from 9:00 to 7:30, which conflicts with her bus. She wants a room change or a partial refund. The task says: use formal register, be courteous, and do not include irrelevant personal details. Priya has 25 minutes and a dictionary. Her draft begins: 'Hola, estoy muy enfadado. Me gustaría que me devuelvas el dinero porque tu casa es un desastre.' She also plans to mention that the host's dog was noisy, even though the task does not ask about it.
1. Rewrite the opening two sentences of Priya's email to suit the task. Explain three changes you made and why.
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A suitable rewrite is: 'Estimado director: Me dirijo a usted para expresar mi preocupación por dos aspectos de mi estancia. Le agradecería que considerara las siguientes solicitudes.' Changes: (1) 'Hola' becomes 'Estimado director', matching formal correspondence. (2) 'estoy muy enfadado' becomes 'mi preocupación', which is courteous and keeps the complaint factual rather than emotional. (3) 'tu casa' becomes 'mi estancia' or 'el alojamiento', avoiding the insulting 'desastre' and the informal 'tú'. 'Me gustaría que me devuelvas' is also problematic because it mixes a polite wish with an informal subjunctive; 'Le agradecería que considerara' uses 'usted' and a conditional politeness formula. The rewrite still signals dissatisfaction, but it protects the writer's credibility.
2. Which details from the scenario should Priya include, and which should she leave out? Justify your choices.
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She should include the two verifiable problems: the room lacked the advertised desk and the bathroom is shared with five people instead of two; the conversation class moved from 9:00 to 7:30 and conflicts with her bus. She should state the dates or duration and the remedy she wants: a room change, or a partial refund if that is not possible. She should leave out 'tu casa es un desastre' because it is an insult, not a fact, and the noisy dog because the task does not ask about it and it weakens the focus. Irrelevant personal details make a formal complaint look emotional and can obscure the two legitimate issues. A strong answer links each included detail to the requested remedy.
3. Write one sentence requesting a partial refund in formal Spanish, and explain why your structure is appropriate.
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One appropriate sentence is: 'En caso de que no sea posible cambiarme de habitación, le agradecería que me reembolsara la parte correspondiente del alojamiento.' The structure is appropriate because 'En caso de que' introduces a condition and correctly triggers the subjunctive 'sea'. 'Le agradecería' is a polite conditional with 'usted', and 'la parte correspondiente' is precise without sounding aggressive. It also presents the room change as the first request and the refund as a fallback, which is reasonable and courteous. A less effective version would be 'Devuélvame el dinero', which is a direct command and may sound demanding. The sentence still makes a clear request, so politeness does not weaken the complaint.