Keigo and Hierarchy in a Business Email
You are a second-year university student doing a six-week internship at a mid-sized Tokyo IT firm. Your team leader, Tanaka-san (35), has asked you to prepare a client-facing email to a senior manager at a partner company, Suzuki-buchou, requesting a two-day extension on a deliverable due this Friday. The email must be sent by 5pm today, and you have 30 minutes to draft it. You have three openings:
A: 鈴木部長、いつもお世話になっております。納期の件ですが、2日延ばしていただけないでしょうか。 B: 鈴木様、お世話になっております。恐れ入りますが、納期を2日ほど延長していただけますと幸いです。 C: 鈴木部長様、ご多忙のところ失礼いたします。納期についてご相談したいことがございます。
Your team leader says the tone is off in each. You must choose and revise one, considering uchi/soto, wakimae, and the fact that you are the lowest-ranking person. The client is known for strict deadlines, so the request must be handled delicately. You also know that Suzuki-buchou prefers directness but expects proper honorifics.
1. Which of the three drafts contains the most serious keigo error, and why? Explain the error and its social implications in this context.
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Draft C contains the most serious error: 「鈴木部長様」 combines a title (部長) with 様, which is a form of 二重敬語 (double honorific) and is considered incorrect in standard business Japanese. In Japanese, you either use the title alone (鈴木部長) or the name plus 様 (鈴木様), but not both. This error would immediately mark the writer as someone who does not understand proper keigo, potentially damaging trust with a strict client. Draft A uses 「鈴木部長」 correctly, and Draft B uses 「鈴木様」 correctly, although B is less specific about the title. The social implication is that C appears overly polite but actually reveals a lack of refinement, which is worse than being simply direct. In a business context where the client values proper honorifics, this could undermine the request. Therefore, C is the most problematic.
2. Revise the draft you chose (or the best of the three) into a complete email of 120–150 words in Japanese, using appropriate keigo. Explain your key choices.
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Revised email (based on Draft B, with improvements):
鈴木様、いつもお世話になっております。株式会社〇〇のインターン生の〇〇と申します。このたびは、納期の件でご相談させていただきたく、ご連絡いたしました。誠に恐れ入りますが、現在の納期を2日ほど延長していただけますと幸いです。理由といたしましては、最終確認の過程で追加の検証が必要となり、品質を担保するためにお時間をいただきたいと考えております。ご多忙のところ、ご無理を申し上げて大変申し訳ございませんが、ご検討いただけますと幸いです。何卒よろしくお願い申し上げます。
Key choices: used 様 because it is safe and respectful when addressing a client whose exact title may not need to be foregrounded; used humble forms for own actions (申します, ご連絡いたしました, ご相談させていただきたく); used respectful forms for the client (ご多忙, ご検討); avoided 二重敬語; provided a reason without over-explaining; framed the request as a consultation rather than a demand. As an intern, the language must reflect low status, so the email is humble and indirect while still clear about the two-day extension.
3. Explain how the concept of wakimae (弁え) shapes the choice of honorifics in this email. What would change if you were the team leader rather than an intern?
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Wakimae is the social obligation to use language appropriate to one's position and the situation. As an intern, you are the lowest-ranking person, so you must use humble forms (謙譲語) for your own actions and respectful forms (尊敬語) for the client. You cannot make demands; you must frame the request as a humble consultation. If you were the team leader, you would still use keigo, but you would have more authority to negotiate directly, perhaps using 「ご相談させていただきます」 rather than 「お願い申し上げます」, and you might be more concise. The team leader might also contact the client by phone rather than email. The key is that wakimae is relational; your language must reflect your position relative to the client and your own team. Also, uchi/soto: your company is uchi, the client is soto, so you must not use humble forms for the client's actions.