Gift-Giving, Giri, and Okaeshi in a Seminar Farewell
You are a 22-year-old New Zealand student on a one-year exchange at a Japanese university. You have been a member of a seminar (zemi) for 10 months. Your seminar leader, Professor Yamamoto (50), is retiring at the end of the semester. Your Japanese friend tells you that the seminar students are planning a farewell party and will each contribute ¥3,000 for a group gift. You have also heard that Professor Yamamoto gave each student a small souvenir from her recent trip to Hokkaido. You are unsure whether you should give an additional personal gift, and if so, what and when. You have a budget of ¥5,000. You know that gift-giving in Japan involves giri and okaeshi. The party is in two weeks, and you need to decide by next week so you can buy something.
1. Should you give an additional personal gift to Professor Yamamoto? Explain your reasoning using giri, okaeshi, and the distinction between personal and group gifts.
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You should not give an additional personal gift. The group gift already fulfills the social obligation (giri) of the seminar students to their retiring professor. Giving a personal gift on top of that could create an imbalance: the professor might feel obliged to give okaeshi (a reciprocal gift), which would be burdensome given her retirement. It could also make other students feel uncomfortable or appear as if you are trying to curry favor. However, a small, consumable gift (e.g., NZ sweets) shared with everyone at the party might be acceptable as a token of appreciation, not as a personal gift. The key is to match the group norm and avoid creating a sense of obligation. If you do give, it should be modest and framed as 'for everyone'.
2. If you decide to give a small personal gift, what would be appropriate, and how should you present it? Provide a short script in Japanese.
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Appropriate gift: a small box of New Zealand chocolates or biscuits, costing around ¥1,000–1,500, wrapped simply. Present it at the end of the party, privately or to the professor directly, with both hands, and say: 「先生、1年間本当にお世話になりました。これはニュージーランドのお菓子ですが、皆で召し上がってください。つまらないものですが、お気持ちだけ。」 This frames it as a shared gift and uses humble language (つまらないものですが) to downplay its value. Avoid giving anything expensive or personal. Also, do not give it in front of the whole group if it might cause embarrassment; perhaps give it to the professor as you leave.
3. What is okaeshi, and how might Professor Yamamoto's souvenir from Hokkaido affect your decision?
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Okaeshi is the reciprocal gift given in return for a gift received, often within a certain timeframe (e.g., within a month). Professor Yamamoto already gave you a souvenir from Hokkaido, which was likely a small token of appreciation. If you now give her a gift, she may feel obliged to give okaeshi, which could be awkward and burdensome, especially as she is retiring. Therefore, you should avoid giving a gift that is too expensive or personal. The group gift is a collective gesture that reduces individual obligation. Your additional gift could upset this balance. So, the souvenir actually reinforces the decision not to give a personal gift, or to keep it very small and shared.