Cutting 60 Words Without Losing the Argument
A student's argumentative essay is 710 words against a 650-word limit. The essay argues that a campus library should extend weekend hours. The draft includes: a 90-word summary of the library's construction history, a 70-word paragraph restating the thesis in different words, a 40-word aside about the writer's favorite study spot, and a strong 60-word paragraph citing a student survey (68% of 200 respondents wanted weekend hours). The conclusion repeats the survey figure. The student's instinct is to cut the survey paragraph because 'it's the longest thing I can find.'
1. The student needs to cut 60 words. Identify where the cuts should come from and explain why the survey paragraph should stay.
Read the worked answer
Cut from material that does not advance the argument; keep the evidence.
Candidate cuts, in order of value:
- Construction history (90 words) - background the reader does not need to accept the claim. Cutting it alone exceeds the 60-word target.
- Restated thesis (70 words) - if it only repeats the opening claim, it earns nothing.
- Favorite study spot (40 words) - personal aside, not evidence.
- Duplicated survey figure in the conclusion - the number is already established; referring back in a few words is enough.
The survey paragraph is the essay's only cited evidence and directly supports the claim. Cutting the longest paragraph is a length heuristic, not an argument heuristic. The student should cut by function-background, repetition, aside-not by word count.
2. If the student cuts the construction history entirely, does anything break? What should the revision check?
Read the worked answer
Possibly-check whether the history was doing hidden work.
Sometimes 'background' contains the reason the current hours are limited (e.g., budget decisions made when the building opened). If the essay's argument depends on rebutting that reason, cutting the paragraph removes a premise the reader needs.
The revision check is a dependency test: after cutting, read the next paragraph and ask whether any sentence now refers to something no longer stated. If a later sentence says 'That original budget constraint no longer applies,' the cut broke the chain.
If the history is purely descriptive (dates, architects, square footage), cut it. If it carries a premise, compress it to one sentence rather than deleting it, and take the remaining words from the restated thesis and the aside. That keeps the argument intact while still meeting 650.