Kila Plans an Argument: Choosing Points and Signposting a Rebuttal
Kila's Grade 10 class is preparing an argumentative essay on the motion "Mobile phones should be allowed in secondary schools." Kila wants to argue for limited, supervised use. He has listed five possible points:
A. Phones let students contact parents quickly in an emergency. B. Many students play games on their phones during lessons. C. Phones give access to online dictionaries and past examination papers. D. Phones are expensive and are sometimes stolen. E. A total ban is hard to enforce fairly, because some students rely on phones to coordinate transport and school fees.
His teacher has warned the class that an essay is not a list of points: it needs a thesis that takes a position, two or three developed body paragraphs, and a counter-argument that is answered rather than ignored. Kila's draft currently begins, "Phones are useful. They help with learning. They are also dangerous."
1. Which of Kila's points should support his case, and in what order? Explain what he should do with the remaining points rather than dropping them silently.
Read the worked answer
The supporting points are A, C and E, and they belong in that order: safety and family contact, then learning access, then fairness of enforcement. A and C give positive reasons for supervised use; E strengthens the position by showing that a total ban creates its own problems, which is a reason for rules rather than prohibition.
B and D are not support - they are the opposition's case, and they must appear in the counter-argument paragraph and be answered, not omitted. A reader who knows about distraction and theft will distrust an essay that pretends those problems do not exist. Kila can concede B and answer it with "during lessons, phones are switched off and stored" and concede D and answer it with "lockers and a register reduce theft risk".
Ordering matters too: putting the strongest, least contestable reason (A) first builds trust before the more arguable claims.
2. Write Kila's thesis statement and the topic sentence of his counter-argument paragraph. Explain how the topic sentence signals both the objection and the reply.
Read the worked answer
Thesis: "Secondary schools should permit mobile phones under clear rules - stored during lessons and used only in supervised areas - because the safety and learning benefits outweigh the risks, which school policy can manage."
Topic sentence: "Critics rightly point out that phones distract students and are easily stolen; however, these problems arise from unsupervised use rather than from phones themselves, and a clear school policy can reduce them."
The topic sentence does three jobs in one sentence. Critics rightly point out concedes the objection and shows the writer is fair-minded. However marks the turn to the rebuttal. Rather than from phones themselves ... school policy can reduce them reframes the issue so the paragraph's evidence has somewhere to go.
The thesis does the same work at essay level: it names a position (permit under rules), a scope (stored during lessons, supervised areas) and a reason (benefits outweigh manageable risks). Without the scope, the thesis would read as an unconditional "yes" to phones.
3. Explain two weaknesses of Kila's opening - "Phones are useful. They help with learning. They are also dangerous." - and describe how he should revise it.
Read the worked answer
First, it takes no position. Useful and dangerous cancel each other out, so the reader cannot tell what the essay will argue. A thesis must be arguable but decided.
Second, the three clipped sentences are unconnected and unsupported: help with learning is an assertion with no scope or reason, and dangerous names no specific risk. The paragraph also has no scope - useful in whose hands, during what part of the school day?
Revision: combine the ideas into one sentence with a position and a because-clause. "Although phones can distract students, secondary schools should allow supervised use because they support learning and keep families in contact during emergencies, and the risks can be managed by clear rules." That sentence commits, signals the concession, and gives the body paragraphs something to prove.