Newsletter Editing: Agreement, Reference, and the Comma Splice
Ms Aihi is editing the Grade 12 media club's 180-word newsletter article before printing. The draft contains these sentences: 'The number of students who uses the library has rose since the new timetable began.' 'Each of the new computers are available for research.' 'The librarian told Maya that she should return the overdue atlas.' 'However the library will close early on Friday.' 'Students who borrow books must return them by Friday, they will be fined.' Ms Aihi has 40 minutes and wants the club to correct the errors without changing the writer's meaning. She asks the editors to name the problem in each sentence, not just fix it, and to decide whether the final sentence should become two sentences or one complex sentence. The article must keep its formal but friendly tone for students and parents.
1. Correct the first three sentences and name the grammatical problem in each.
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- The number of students who uses the library has rose since the new timetable began. Correction: The number of students who use the library has risen since the new timetable began. Problems: the relative clause agrees with students, not number, so use use; the present perfect takes the past participle risen, not rose. 2. Each of the new computers are available for research. Correction: Each of the new computers is available for research. Problem: each is singular, so the verb is is. 3. The librarian told Maya that she should return the overdue atlas. This is not strictly an error but an ambiguity: she can refer to the librarian or to Maya. A revision should make the referent clear, e.g. The librarian told Maya to return the overdue atlas, or The librarian told Maya that the librarian should return the overdue atlas. Naming the problem matters because correcting grammar without fixing reference can change meaning.
2. Explain the ambiguity in the librarian sentence and rewrite it in two different ways, showing how each changes meaning.
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The pronoun she has two possible antecedents, the librarian and Maya. Rewrite 1: The librarian told Maya, 'You should return the overdue atlas.' This makes Maya responsible. Rewrite 2: The librarian told Maya that the librarian herself should return the overdue atlas. This makes the librarian responsible. A third option: The librarian told Maya that Maya should return the overdue atlas. The choice depends on the facts, not on grammar alone. In editing, the club should ask who actually has the overdue atlas; if that is unknown, the sentence should be recast with a name or a direct quotation.
3. Decide how to punctuate and structure the final sentence. Justify your choice with reference to meaning and tone.
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Final sentence: Students who borrow books must return them by Friday, they will be fined. This is a comma splice: two independent clauses joined only by a comma. Split with a full stop: Students who borrow books must return them by Friday. They will be fined. Or use a semicolon: ... by Friday; they will be fined. Or make one clause subordinate: If students who borrow books do not return them by Friday, they will be fined. The split version is clearest for a newsletter and keeps the friendly-formal tone. A dash would be too informal, and a comma alone is not enough.