The Summary Paragraph
You are preparing the summary paragraph of an incident report. Your notes read: '14/03, approx 18:40. Complainant Mrs Ivy Chan, 72, 14 Rosella Court. Heard glass break; saw male, 20s, hooded top, running east on Rosella Court toward the reserve. Rear window of her Toyota Camry, rego 1AB-2CD, smashed. Nothing taken. No injury. Attended with SC Doyle; arrived 18:52, departed 19:35. Canvass of six neighbours - negative. No CCTV at address. Victim declined victim-of-crime referral; asked for extra patrols. She was very shaken. Note: three similar reports in the street since January, not yet linked.' The sergeant wants 90 to 120 words, third person, past tense, no speculation, and every assertion attributable.
1. Write the summary paragraph to the sergeant's specification, and state its word count.
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Draft (104 words):
On 14 March at about 6.40 pm, Mrs Ivy Chan, 72, of 14 Rosella Court, heard glass break and saw a male running east along Rosella Court towards the reserve. The rear window of her parked Toyota Camry, registration 1AB-2CD, was smashed. Nothing was taken and no one was injured. The male was described only as being in his twenties and wearing a hooded top. Constables attended with SC Doyle, arriving at 6.52 pm and departing at 7.35 pm. A canvass of six neighbouring addresses produced no witnesses, and there is no CCTV at the address. Mrs Chan declined a victim-of-crime referral and asked for additional patrols.
What the drafting did:
- Third person, past tense, active where possible; the complainant's account is attributed to her ('heard', 'saw').
- Time converted from the 24-hour note into a consistent form and marked approximate, matching the note.
- The description is reported as a limitation ('described only as'), not as an identification.
- The negative canvass and absent CCTV are recorded because their absence is evidentially significant, not because they are filler.
- 'Nothing was taken' is retained because it distinguishes the matter from a burglary and shapes the investigation.
2. Two items in the notes cannot go into the summary as written. Identify them and state how each must be handled.
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Item 1 - 'She was very shaken.' This is your impression, not an observation. Either delete it or make it attributable and observable: 'Mrs Chan said, "I'm very shaken"' or 'Mrs Chan's hands were shaking and she asked for a glass of water.' An unattributed emotional summary is the first thing a defence reader strikes out, and it invites the reply that the report was written to generate sympathy.
Item 2 - 'three similar reports in the street since January, not yet linked.' This is unverified intelligence, not an incident fact. Putting it in the summary implies a series before anyone has established one. It belongs in a separate intelligence note, attributed and dated, with the phrase 'not yet linked' preserved rather than dropped.
Borderline items worth checking: 'approx 18:40' must stay marked approximate rather than rounded to a false precision; '20s, hooded top' is a description, not an identification, and must not be written as though the offender is known.
3. Identify the one ambiguity in the notes most likely to be attacked, and explain how you would resolve it before the report is finalised.
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The ambiguity: 'saw male, 20s, hooded top, running east' is the entire offender description, and it is not enough to identify anyone. It also leaves the sequence unclear - whether she saw the male before or after the glass broke, and how much time passed. So the report may read as a witnessed offence when it may have been a sound followed by a sighting of someone leaving.
Why it matters: the difference between 'saw the window smashed' and 'heard glass break, then saw a male running' changes the strength of the identification, the likely escape route and whether the male is a suspect or merely a person who ran past.
How to resolve it: re-interview Mrs Chan with a structured description - height relative to the window, build, colour of the hooded top, footwear, direction and destination - and record the sequence with approximate times: heard glass at X, looked out at Y seconds later, male at the corner by Z. Record the limits explicitly ('could not see his face'). Then amend the summary so the description is presented as partial rather than as an identification.