The Register Slip in a Scholarship Letter
Amra is applying for a competitive scholarship in Sarajevo. Her teacher, Senad, asks her to write a formal letter of motivation in Bosnian. In the draft, Amra writes to the selection committee: Zdravo svima! Baš mi je drago što se prijavljujem i nadam se da ćete me primiti. Ja sam jako dobra učenica i mislim da bih bila odličan izbor. Senad circles three phrases and writes: Ovo nije prikladno za ovaj kontekst. Amra protests that her Bosnian is correct and that she has seen similar expressions in online forums. She has 48 hours before the deadline and wants to keep her friendly tone because she believes it shows personality.
1. Explain what Senad means by *nije prikladno* and identify which features of Amra's draft are register problems rather than grammar errors.
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Senad is not saying the sentences are ungrammatical; they are grammatical but belong to an informal, conversational register. The problems are:
- Greeting: Zdravo svima! is a casual greeting for peers, not an opening for a formal committee. A formal letter would use something like Poštovani članovi komisije or Poštovani.
- Address form: svima is collective and informal; a committee is addressed as a body, not as a group of friends.
- Intensifiers and fillers: Baš mi je drago and jako dobra are conversational boosters. Formal Bosnian prefers measured phrasing such as izuzetno mi je zadovoljstvo or smatram se dobrom učenicom.
- Self-praise framing: mislim da bih bila odličan izbor sounds like a chat message. Formal self-presentation usually supports claims with evidence rather than asserting them.
The key judgement is that correctness and appropriateness are separate criteria. Amra's evidence from online forums shows only that the phrases exist, not that they fit this genre. Her wish to show personality can be met through concrete achievements and a clear motive, not through chat-style markers.
2. Amra wants to keep a warm, personal tone. Propose how she can revise the opening two sentences to be formal but still individual, and justify each change.
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A workable revision:
Poštovani članovi komisije, izuzetno mi je zadovoljstvo podnijeti prijavu za ovu stipendiju. Smatram da sam zahvaljujući iskustvu u školskom debatnom klubu razvila sposobnosti koje bih rado unaprijedila na vašem programu.
Justification:
- Greeting and address (Poštovani članovi komisije) establish the formal frame immediately and show awareness of the audience.
- Izuzetno mi je zadovoljstvo replaces Baš mi je drago; it keeps a positive, personal stance but at a formal level.
- Concrete evidence (debate club) replaces the bare claim jako dobra učenica. This preserves individuality far better than an adjective, because it is specific to Amra.
- A forward-looking clause (rado unaprijedila) expresses motivation and humility, which committees read as maturity.
This shows the exam skill: register is a set of choices about audience and purpose, and warmth can survive formalisation if it is carried by detail rather than by slang.