Writing: Revising a Lab Report Conclusion
A student drafts this conclusion for a lab report: "The plant grew more because we gave it more light and it was taller than the other one and this proves light is the only thing plants need." The assignment requires a conclusion that states the result, limits the claim to the evidence, and uses complete, correctly punctuated sentences. The experiment used two plants: Plant A received six hours of light daily and grew 4 centimeters; Plant B received two hours daily and grew 1 centimeter. Both received the same water and soil. The teacher has flagged three problems: an unsupported absolute claim, a run-on sentence, and a missing statement of the actual data.
1. Rewrite the conclusion to fix the run-on sentence and include the specific data.
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A revised version: "Plant A, which received six hours of light daily, grew 4 centimeters, while Plant B, which received two hours daily, grew 1 centimeter. Both plants received the same water and soil."
The original strings three independent ideas together with "and" and no punctuation. Splitting them into two sentences and using a comma before "while" clarifies the contrast. The revision replaces vague comparisons like "taller than the other one" with the measured values, which is what the assignment asks for.
2. Explain why "this proves light is the only thing plants need" should be removed or revised, and write a better closing sentence.
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The phrase makes an absolute claim that the design cannot support. Two plants with one variable changed can suggest that more light was associated with more growth under these conditions, but they cannot show light is the only requirement; water and soil were also provided, and other factors were not tested.
A better closing sentence: "These results suggest that, under the conditions tested, greater daily light was associated with more growth, but further trials are needed to identify all factors affecting plant growth." This keeps the claim proportional to the evidence and uses precise, complete wording.