The Damp Flat: A Formal Repair Email
You rent a flat in Bangor. For three weeks there has been a damp patch in the bedroom near the window, with black mould spreading around the frame. Your child has asthma, and your doctor has given you a note saying the damp should be dealt with. Your landlord, Mr Jones, promised to visit last week but did not come. You have photos of the mould and a copy of the doctor's note. In the writing test you must write a formal email of 90-110 words to Mr Jones. You need to state when the problem started, explain the health concern, request an inspection within seven days, and give access times: weekdays after 4pm. The tone must be polite but firm.
1. Plan the email: list four content points in a logical order and state the register you will use.
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A logical order is: (1) formal greeting and purpose; (2) the problem and dates-three weeks, bedroom window, black mould; (3) the health impact-child's asthma and the doctor's note; (4) the missed visit and the request-inspection within seven days, access weekdays after 4pm; (5) mention photos and ask for a written reply. The register should be formal but not legalistic: 'Annwyl Mr Jones', 'Rwy'n ysgrifennu i...', 'Gofynnaf i chi...', 'Yn gywir'. Avoid 'Hi', 'Ti', and emotional accusations. State facts and a clear action. This order puts the health concern before the request, so the request feels justified rather than abrupt.
2. Draft the opening and closing sentences in Welsh, using formal address and a clear request.
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Opening: 'Annwyl Mr Jones, Rwy'n ysgrifennu i gwyno am leithder yn fy llofft sydd wedi bod yn broblem ers tair wythnos.' Closing: 'Gofynnaf i chi drefnu archwiliad o fewn saith diwrnod. Rwy'n gallu bod gartref ar nosweithiau'r wythnos ar ôl 4pm. Byddwn yn gwerthfawrogi ateb ysgrifenedig erbyn dydd Gwener. Yn gywir, [Enw].' The opening uses 'Rwy'n ysgrifennu i gwyno am...', a standard formal purpose phrase, and gives the time period. The closing uses 'Gofynnaf i chi' plus a soft mutation, then a specific deadline and access times. 'Byddwn yn gwerthfawrogi' is polite but still expects a reply.
3. Improve this sentence and explain the main grammar problem: 'Rwy'n ysgrifennu i chi am y leithder ers tair wythnos ac mae angen trwsio.'
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Improved version: 'Rwy'n ysgrifennu i chi am leithder yn fy llofft ers tair wythnos, ac mae angen i chi drwsio'r wal o amgylch y ffenestr.' The main problem is that 'mae angen trwsio' is incomplete: it does not say who must repair what. Welsh normally uses 'mae angen i rywun wneud rhywbeth', with i plus a person and a soft mutation after i: 'mae angen i chi drwsio...'. Also, 'y leithder' is better as 'y lleithder' if the definite article is used, though 'am leithder' is fine without it. The improved sentence names the wall and makes the request enforceable.