The Complaint Email That Must Be Sent Today
A student has drafted an email of complaint to OfficeTech, a supplier that delivered 12 laptops on Monday. Three of the laptops will not hold a charge. The draft, addressed to a named customer-service manager, contains these sentences:
- "Me and my team have checked all twelve laptops and three of them was faulty."
- "The laptops arrived on Monday, however the packaging was damaged."
- "I am writing to request a replacement, I hope you will respond within five days."
- "The technician done a diagnostic test yesterday and confirmed the fault."
- "The number of faulty units is small but the disruption is serious."
Before sending, the student asks two questions: whether sentence 5 should read "are small", since "units" is plural, and whether a five-day deadline makes the email rude. The teacher knows marks are awarded for accuracy, register and clarity of purpose, and that an over-corrected email can read worse than the original.
1. Correct sentences 1–4, naming the error in each and keeping the meaning and formal register intact.
Read the worked answer
- "My team and I have checked all twelve laptops, and three of them were faulty." Two errors. Pronoun case: in the subject position, standard English uses "I", not "me" - and putting "my team" first avoids the "me and my team" pattern entirely. Agreement: "three of them" is plural, so "were", not "was".
- "The laptops arrived on Monday; however, the packaging was damaged." A comma splice with a conjunctive adverb. "However" cannot join two clauses with a comma; use a semicolon (or full stop), and keep the comma after "however".
- "I am writing to request a replacement. I would be grateful for a response within five days." Another comma splice, repaired with a full stop. The second clause also becomes more formal: "I would be grateful for" does the same job as "I hope" without the faintly reproachful tone.
- "The technician carried out a diagnostic test yesterday and confirmed the fault." Non-standard past participle: "done" for "did" (or better here, "carried out"). Note that this is a dialect-marked form, not a typo - correcting it matters in a formal letter even though it is common in speech.
Do not rewrite more than is broken. Sentences 2 and 4 need one repair each; the student's instinct to rewrite everything is how errors get introduced.
2. Respond to the student's question about sentence 5, and explain how you would teach the distinction.
Read the worked answer
The student is wrong to change it, and this is the most useful teaching moment in the draft.
In "the number of faulty units is small", the head of the subject is the number - a single quantity - so the verb is singular: is. Compare "a number of units are faulty", where "a number of" works as a determiner meaning "several", and the real subject is the plural units. The same pattern applies to the majority of / a majority of, the total of / a total of. The test is not "find the nearest plural noun" but "what is the subject of this verb?"
Teaching move: put both sentences side by side on the board - The number of faulty units is small / A number of units are faulty - and ask which word the verb is agreeing with. Then give three quick contrasts (the variety of / a variety of, the percentage of / a percentage of) so the pattern is visible rather than memorised as one exception.
Point out the wider lesson: over-correction damages accuracy marks too. A student who "fixes" a correct sentence turns a secure mark into a lost one, and markers see it immediately in a formal letter.
3. Advise on the five-day deadline: is it rude, and if so, what exactly makes it rude?
Read the worked answer
The deadline is not the problem; the framing is. A deadline in a business complaint is normal and often necessary - it signals seriousness and gives the recipient something concrete to act on. What reads as curt is the bare "I hope you will respond", which is a passive-aggressive instruction dressed as a hope, and the absence of any reason for the date.
A better version attaches the deadline to a consequence the supplier can understand: "Our lessons begin on 12 May, so a replacement by 9 May would allow us to keep the class running." Same date, same firmness, no asperity - and it gives the manager a business reason to prioritise the case, which is more effective than pressure.
Also flag the two things that genuinely would be rude: implying bad faith ("you clearly do not check your stock") and copying in a senior manager before the supplier has had a chance to reply. The register target for this task is firm but courteous; the corrected draft in roughly 45 words: "I am writing to report that three of the twelve laptops delivered on Monday will not hold a charge. Our lessons begin on 12 May, so a replacement by 9 May would allow us to keep the class running."