Revising an abrupt email invitation to a pen friend
In a school exchange project, a Pune student must write a 50–60-word email in Russian to a pen friend, Misha, in Tver. The purpose is to invite Misha to an online video call during the Ganesh festival. The teacher requires: a greeting; the date and time (Saturday, 7 p.m. Pune time); a polite question asking whether Misha is free; a clear instruction for joining the call; and a closing. The student’s first draft says: «Привет, Миша! Я хочу пригласить тебя на наш праздник. Он будет в субботу в 7 часов вечера. Ты свободен? Приходи. Пока.» The teacher marks it as too abrupt for a first email to a pen friend and says the invitation does not explain that the meeting is online. The student must revise without making the email sound like an official letter.
1. Identify two features that make the draft too abrupt for a first email to a pen friend, and say what the writer should add or change.
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Two problems are the bare imperative «Приходи» and the closing «Пока». «Приходи» sounds like an order and does not explain that the meeting is online. «Пока» is very casual and closes the email without inviting a reply. A better version adds a polite request, for example «Напиши, пожалуйста, сможешь ли ты» and a friendly closing such as «До связи». The direct question «Ты свободен?» is not wrong between friends, but it is very short; adding «в это время» or «сможешь ли ты» makes it softer. The revision should keep the friendly «ты», because the greeting is «Привет» and the writer is addressing a pen friend.
2. Rewrite only the opening and closing so the email is friendly but not official. Keep the greeting and signature appropriate.
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A suitable opening is: «Привет, Миша! Как дела? Я хочу пригласить тебя на наш праздник.» A suitable closing is: «Напиши, пожалуйста, сможешь ли ты присоединиться. До связи, [имя].» The opening keeps «Привет» because the relationship is friendly; it adds a short personal question to avoid starting with a demand. The closing avoids «Пока» alone and gives the reader a reason to reply. It is not official because it does not use «Уважаемый» or «Вы». If the student writes «Здравствуйте, Михаил», that changes the relationship and would require «Вы» throughout, so it does not fit the task.
3. Add one sentence in Russian that explains how to join the call and asks for a reply. Explain your choice of «ты» or «вы».
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A possible sentence is: «Мы будем говорить в Zoom, ссылку я пришлю в субботу. Напиши, пожалуйста, сможешь ли ты.» The sentence gives the platform and a clear action. The form «напиши» and «сможешь ли ты» uses «ты», which matches «Привет, Миша» and the pen-friend relationship. If the student chooses «вы», the whole email must change: «Здравствуйте, Михаил», «напишите, пожалуйста, сможете ли вы». Mixing «Привет» with «напишите» is inconsistent. The teacher should accept either «ты» or «вы» only if the greeting, pronouns, and verb forms are consistent.