The Formal Letter That Sounds Like a Text Message
A 10-mark Kannada formal letter asks students to request the headmaster to add three library periods per week. The rubric is format 3, content 4, language 3; the word limit is 100-120. One draft reads: 'Respected sir, I want library periods. We have only 2 periods. Please give 3 more. It is urgent. Yours, R.' It has no date, no subject line, no sender address, and is 26 words. The content request is accurate. A colleague wants to award 7/10 because 'the message is clear and the student is weak in writing'. The teacher has to return scripts tomorrow and must also decide whether to deduct for the short length. The class has been taught the format twice, and the question paper printed the word limit.
1. Score the draft against the rubric and justify each band.
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Award 5/10: format 1/3 because only a salutation and closing appear; date, subject line, sender address, and proper subscription are missing. Content 3/4 because the request is clear but underdeveloped: 'only 2 periods' is a reason, but there is no explanation of need, benefit, or specific use of the three periods. Language 1/3 because 'I want', 'Please give', and 'It is urgent' are informal and repetitive; formal request forms are absent. The 26-word length is not a separate deduction; it is evidence that content and language are thin. A 7/10 would ignore format and register because the message is understandable.
2. Rewrite the opening two sentences in formal register, keeping the same request.
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Date: 12 August 2025\nTo,\nThe Headmaster,\n[School name]\nSubject: Request for three additional library periods per week\n\nRespected Sir,\nI request that three library periods be added to our weekly timetable. At present we have only two periods, which are insufficient for reference work, supervised reading, and borrowing.\n\nYours obediently,\nR.\n\nThe rewrite adds the missing format elements, replaces 'I want' with 'I request that', and gives a purpose instead of 'It is urgent'.
3. What feedback would help this weak writer without simply rewriting the letter for them?
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Give a checklist and two sentence frames rather than a full model answer. Checklist: date, receiver, subject, salutation, reason, request, closing, 100-120 words. Frames: 'I request that ___ be ___' and 'This will help us ___ because ___.' Ask the student to add one reason and one benefit to the existing draft, then check the format against the checklist. The teacher can mark the first rewrite only for format and request verbs, then a second rewrite for length. This preserves the student's own content while making the register demands visible.