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Bus Tour Email: Transferring Four Facts Under a Word Limit

Gifu Entrance English · Put your knowledge to work in context.

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Bus Tour Email: Transferring Four Facts Under a Word Limit

You are an exchange student at a high school in Gifu. Your host mother, Mrs. Kato, has asked about this Saturday. Here is the International Club notice:

SATURDAY BUS TOUR (International Club)

  • Meet at the school main gate 8:15. The bus leaves at 8:20 - it does not wait.
  • Return to the school gate at about 17:30.
  • Cost: 500 yen, covering the bus and entrance.
  • Bring your own lunch. There is no shop at the site.
  • Wear shoes you can walk in; the temple path is 2 km uphill.
  • Sign-up sheet outside Room 204 until Thursday 16:00. Late names cannot be added because the bus has 40 seats.

Your host mother says: "Grandmother is coming on Saturday, so we will eat dinner at 18:30. Please be home by 18:00. Do you need anything from the supermarket?"

Write an email of 50–70 words to Mrs. Kato. Include: (1) where you are going and when you leave and return, (2) that you will be home before 18:00, (3) one thing she could buy for your lunch, and (4) one question. Do not add extra plans.

1. Before writing, decide which details from the notice belong in the email and which must be left out. Justify each decision using the task and the word limit.

Read the worked answer

Include:

  • Departure 8:15 / return 17:30. Requirement (1) asks for times. Use 17:30 rather than "about 17:30" alone, then reassure her about 18:00 - the about matters, so the reassurance must do the work.
  • No shop at the site. This is the reason she needs to buy lunch food; without it, request (3) sounds arbitrary. It is the one piece of notice information that supports a required point.

Leave out:

  • 500 yen. Required points do not mention money, and the email's purpose is timing and lunch. Adding cost invites a question the task did not ask for.
  • 40 seats / Thursday 16:00 deadline. This concerns whether you can join, not whether you will be home for dinner.
  • 2 km uphill / walking shoes. No required point needs it, and it consumes roughly 8 of 50–70 words.

Word-limit logic: four required points plus a greeting and closing is about 55–65 words. Every optional detail pushes out a required one; the notice contains far more than the email can hold, and selecting is the skill being tested.

2. Write the email (50–70 words). After it, state your exact word count and check it against all four required points.

Read the worked answer

Email:

Dear Mrs. Kato, On Saturday I am joining the International Club bus tour. We meet at the school gate at 8:15 and come back at about 17:30, so I will be home before 18:00 for dinner. There is no shop at the tour site, so could you buy some bread and fruit for my lunch? Also, is there anything I should bring for dinner? Yours, Yuki

Word count (body only): Dear(1) Mrs(2) Kato(3) On(4) Saturday(5) I(6) am(7) joining(8) the(9) International(10) Club(11) bus(12) tour(13) We(14) meet(15) at(16) the(17) school(18) gate(19) at(20) 8:15(21) and(22) come(23) back(24) at(25) about(26) 17:30(27) so(28) I(29) will(30) be(31) home(32) before(33) 18:00(34) for(35) dinner(36) There(37) is(38) no(39) shop(40) at(41) the(42) tour(43) site(44) so(45) could(46) you(47) buy(48) some(49) bread(50) and(51) fruit(52) for(53) my(54) lunch(55) Also(56) is(57) there(58) anything(59) I(60) should(61) bring(62) for(63) dinner(64) Yours(65) Yuki(66) - 66 words. ✓

Checklist:

  1. Where and when - "bus tour," 8:15 out, 17:30 back. ✓
  2. Home before 18:00 - stated directly, tied to dinner. ✓
  3. Lunch purchase - bread and fruit; supported by "no shop at the tour site." ✓
  4. One question - "is there anything I should bring for dinner?" One question only; a second would break the instruction. ✓

No extra plans appear, and no notice detail (500 yen, 40 seats, 2 km) has slipped in.

3. A classmate's draft ends: "We come back around 18:30, so I will see you at dinner." Using the notice and the host mother's message, explain why this fails the task even though the notice says "about 17:30."

Read the worked answer

Three separate failures.

  1. It contradicts the notice. The notice gives about 17:30. Writing 18:30 invents an hour of delay that the source does not support - an information-transfer error, not a wording problem.
  2. It breaks the required point. Requirement (2) asks the student to state that they will be home before 18:00. "Around 18:30" states the opposite, and dinner is at 18:30, so the sentence promises arrival at the moment the meal begins.
  3. It ignores why the mother asked. She gave a 18:00 limit because grandmother is coming. A reply that lands at 18:30 answers a different question from the one she asked.

On the word "about": the notice's about is exactly why the email must reassure rather than repeat. A 17:30 estimate could slip, so the correct move is to say you will be back in the late afternoon and will be home before 18:00 - treating the estimate as an estimate while committing to the family's deadline. Copying "around 17:30" without comment is acceptable; moving the number to 18:30 is not.