The Zoo Trip Notice: Which Draft Is Clear?
The Grade 5 class is preparing a notice for the school board about a one-day trip to the zoo. The board is read by parents and by students from other classes, so the notice must be clear without a teacher standing beside it. Two students write drafts in Sinhala. Draft A says: 'අපගේ පන්තියේ සිසුන් සඳුදා සත්වෝද්‍යානයට යයි. උදේ 7ට පාසලට එන්න. ආපසු 2ට එන්න. ගෙවීම් ගුරුවරයාට දෙන්න.' Draft B says: '5 ශ්‍රේණියේ සිසුන්ට සත්වෝද්‍යාන චාරිකාවක්. ලබන සඳුදා උදේ 7ට පාසලෙන් පිටත් වේ. සවස 2ට පාසලට එන්න. ගාස්තුව රු. 250ක්. නිවාඩු පත්‍රිකාව ගුරුවරයාට දෙන්න.' The teacher says the final notice must give the exact date, time, cost and what to bring. It must also be polite and must not confuse 'going to the zoo' with 'coming back to school'.
1. Which draft is more complete for a school notice board? Compare them using three details that parents need.
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Draft B is more complete. It gives the class, the cost, and a written consent slip.
Three details parents need:
- Who is going. Draft A says 'our class students', but a parent from another class may not know which class. Draft B says '5 ශ්‍රේණියේ සිසුන්ට' - for Grade 5 students - so the audience is clear.
- How much to pay. Draft A says 'ගෙවීම්' (payments), but does not give an amount. Draft B states 'රු. 250ක්' (Rs. 250), so parents can prepare the money.
- What to send. Draft B asks for 'නිවාඩු පත්‍රිකාව' - a consent slip - which parents must sign. Draft A does not mention any consent or what to bring.
Draft A is shorter, but it leaves too much for the reader to guess. On a notice board, guessing leads to missed trips and confused parents.
2. Find the most serious remaining problem in Draft B and rewrite that part more clearly.
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The most serious problem is 'ලබන සඳුදා' - 'next Monday'. A notice board notice may stay up for more than a week. After that Monday, 'next Monday' becomes wrong or confusing. The notice needs the exact date.
Also improve: 'නිවාඩු පත්‍රිකාව' is unclear. It is better to say 'මවුපියන්ගේ අත්සන සහිත අවසර පත්‍රිකාව' - a consent letter signed by a parent.
Rewritten part:
'පෙබරවාරි 2 වන සඳුදා උදේ 7ට පාසලෙන් පිටත් වේ. සවස 2ට පාසලට එන්න. ගාස්තුව රු. 250කි. කරුණාකර මවුපියන්ගේ අත්සන සහිත අවසර පත්‍රිකාව ගෙන එන්න.'
Reasoning: The exact date removes the 'which Monday?' problem. The signed consent letter tells parents what is actually needed, not just a vague 'slip'.
3. Write a short improved notice in Sinhala (3–4 sentences) that keeps the good points from both drafts.
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Improved notice:
5 ශ්‍රේණියේ සිසුන් සඳහා සත්වෝද්‍යාන චාරිකාවක්
පෙබරවාරි 2 වන සඳුදා උදේ 7ට පාසලෙන් පිටත් වේ. සවස 2ට පාසලට එන්න.
ගාස්තුව රු. 250කි. කරුණාකර මවුපියන්ගේ අත්සන සහිත අවසර පත්‍රිකාව සහ ජලය පිරවූ බෝතලයක් ගෙන එන්න.
වැඩි විස්තර සඳහා 5 ශ්‍රේණියේ ගුරුවරයා අමතන්න.
Why this is better: It names the grade, gives an exact date, separates departure time from return time, states the cost, asks for a signed consent letter and a water bottle, and ends politely with a contact. It does not leave parents to guess what 'ගෙවීම්' means or which Monday is meant.