Writing: Revising a thank-you message
You are writing a thank-you message to your Korean homestay grandmother, 할머니, after a two-week stay in Daegu. The task asks for about 150 words in Korean, with: thanks, one specific memory, an apology for breaking a cup, and a question about her health. You draft:
'할머니, 안녕하세요. 저는 잘 지냈어요. 정말 고마웠어요. 같이 김치를 만들었어요. 컵을 깨서 미안해요. 건강하세요. 또 만나요.'
Your teacher says the content is there but the register is uneven, the honorifics for 할머니 are missing, and the ending is too abrupt for a letter to an elder. You have 25 minutes to revise. You may use a dictionary but not a translator. The assessment focuses on consistent polite style, honorific verbs for 할머니, and a clear opening and closing.
1. Identify two register or honorific problems in the draft and explain how to fix them.
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Problem 1: the draft does not consistently honour 할머니. 같이 김치를 만들었어요 describes a shared action, but if 할머니 led or taught the process, the honorific should appear: 할머니께서 김치 만드는 법을 알려 주셨어요. The subject particle 께서 and the verb ending -(으)시- mark her as the respected actor. Asking about her health also needs 할머니께서는 잘 지내셨어요? rather than 건강하세요, which is a bare imperative and can sound like an instruction.
Problem 2: the ending is too casual and abrupt. 또 만나요 is not grammatically wrong, but it is a casual leave-taking that does not suit a letter to an elder. A formal written message would use 또 뵙겠습니다 or 다음에 한국에 가면 다시 인사드리겠습니다, using the humble 뵙다 or 드리다. The apology should also be lifted to 컵을 깨서 정말 죄송했습니다. The fix is not to add more content but to make the speaker's relationship to the elder visible throughout.
2. Rewrite the opening two sentences and the closing two sentences to suit the letter, and explain your choices.
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Opening: 할머니, 안녕하세요. 그동안 잘 지내셨어요? 저는 할머니 덕분에 정말 즐거운 2주를 보냈습니다.
Closing: 컵을 깬 일은 정말 죄송했습니다. 할머니께서는 꼭 건강하시길 바랍니다. 다음에 한국에 가면 다시 인사드리겠습니다.
Explanation: 지내셨어요? uses -(으)시- because the subject is 할머니, and it turns a greeting into a genuine question about her wellbeing. 덕분에 frames the stay as something I received through her, which is more grateful than a bare 고마웠어요. In the closing, 죄송했습니다 matches the formal -습니다 style and gives the apology weight. 건강하시길 바랍니다 uses the honorific stem 건강하시- plus -길 바랍니다, a standard formal wish for an elder. 인사드리겠습니다 uses the humble verb 드리다 for my action toward her. The whole message now keeps one formal polite style instead of drifting between casual and polite endings.