The Memo a Committee Reads on a Phone
You manage a six-person procurement team at a regional hospital. Your director has 20 minutes with the finance committee - six members who read the packet on their phones between meetings - to approve switching surgical-glove vendors. The draft memo runs four paragraphs in this order:
(1) a 120-word history of the incumbent relationship since 2011; (2) a paragraph about a 2023 backorder that "was ultimately resolved"; (3) the pricing comparison - the new vendor is $61,000 cheaper annually on $1.3 million of spend, with a four-week transition; (4) the request: approve the switch by March 1 so the new contract can begin April 1.
The director's cover note says only: "Make sure they know the history."
1. Reorder the memo and state the principle you are applying for this specific audience.
Read the worked answer
Recommended order:
- The ask - approve the switch by March 1.
- The deciding facts - $61,000 annual savings on $1.3 million of spend; four-week transition; April 1 contract start.
- The supply-risk sentence about the incumbent.
- Background (vendor history, 2023 backorder) below the recommendation under a heading.
Principle: a reader on a phone between meetings reads the first screen and possibly nothing else. Whatever you need them to do has to survive that. The committee's first question is "what am I being asked to approve," not "how long have we used this vendor." History answers a question the reader has not asked yet.
Also note the clock: March 1 to April 1 is four weeks, which is exactly the stated transition time. That arithmetic is the strongest argument in the memo and belongs next to the ask, not buried in paragraph three.
2. The director wants "the history" kept. What do you do with paragraphs 1 and 2?
Read the worked answer
Keep the history; change its rank.
Test each fact: does it change the decision, or does it only explain how we got here?
- Vendor history since 2011: explains, does not decide. Compress to one clause in a background section, or move it to an appendix. Nothing is lost - it is still in the packet.
- The 2023 backorder: this one does bear on the decision, but not in its current form. "Was ultimately resolved" argues for the incumbent, which is the opposite of the recommendation, and a reader will notice the contradiction before they notice the price. Either reframe it as supply risk in one line - the lead time, how long resolution took - or cut it.
Then close the loop with the director: "I kept the history; I moved it below the recommendation so it's still in the packet." In practice directors want the fact retained, not the position. Say what you did and where it went.
3. Write the first three sentences of the revised memo, and label what each one is doing.
Read the worked answer
Sentence 1 (the ask): "I recommend that we award the surgical-glove contract to [Vendor B] and that the committee approve the switch by March 1."
Sentence 2 (the evidence): "The change saves $61,000 a year on $1.3 million of spend, and the four-week transition fits the April 1 start date."
Sentence 3 (the risk being addressed): "Our current contract's lead times have been the main supply risk in this category since the 2023 backorder."
Why this sequence works:
- Sentence 1 is a complete, actionable request - a member who reads nothing else still knows what to vote on.
- Sentence 2 pairs cost and feasibility, because a savings figure without a timeline invites the objection "we can't do it by April."
- Sentence 3 converts the incumbent's weakness into the reason to move, which is where the backorder material belongs.
- No sentence begins with background. If a reader wants the history, it is four lines down under a heading, exactly where the director wanted it.