Choosing register for a letter to a host family's grandmother
You are an exchange student in Yogyakarta staying with the Susanto family. The family's grandmother (nenek), aged 78, has just moved in after recovering from a fall. Your teacher asks you to write a short letter in Indonesian to Nenek introducing yourself, thanking her for welcoming you, and asking whether she would like you to help with anything around the house. You draft it using the same casual register you use in WhatsApp messages with your 17-year-old host sister Rina: kamu, aku, santai phrasing, and a joke about how bad your cooking is. Your host mother reads the draft and says it is fine but that Nenek 'might read it differently'. You have one evening to revise before the letter is delivered by hand.
1. Identify the register problem in the draft and explain what specific changes you would make to the language, with examples.
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The draft uses informal, peer-to-peer register (kamu/aku, slang, jokes) which is inappropriate for an elderly person you have never met, especially in a Javanese household where age and respect shape address.
Key changes:
- Pronouns: replace kamu/aku with Anda or, better, address her as Nenek throughout and refer to yourself as saya. Example: Saya senang sekali bisa tinggal di rumah Nenek.
- Address terms: open with a respectful greeting such as Yang terhormat Nenek or Salam hormat untuk Nenek, not Hai.
- Verb choices: soften requests with mohon, apakah Nenek berkenan, kalau tidak keberatan. Replace mau nggak? with apakah Nenek berkenan dibantu.
- Remove the self-deprecating cooking joke. Humour about incompetence can read as flippant to an older reader; it also undercuts the offer of help.
- Add formulaic courtesy: mention her recovery (semoga Nenek lekas pulih), express thanks for being received (terima kasih atas kesediaan Nenek menerima saya), and close with Hormat saya.
The reasoning is not 'formal is always better' - it is that the relationship is new, asymmetrical in age and status, and mediated by the host family's expectations. Register signals respect; getting it wrong damages the relationship before it starts.
2. Your host mother says the draft is 'fine'. Explain why her judgement may differ from what the exam expects, and how you would decide.
Read the worked answer
Her 'fine' is a plausible but under-specified judgement. Three reasons her reaction may not settle the question:
- Politeness strategies differ. Indonesians often soften criticism; sudah bagus may mean 'acceptable, but I would not send it'. Her comment that Nenek 'might read it differently' is itself the real signal - she is flagging a problem without stating it bluntly.
- She knows Nenek; you do not. A family insider can predict what an individual will tolerate. The exam tests whether you can apply general sociolinguistic norms, not whether one family is relaxed.
- Written vs spoken norms. Casual speech between family members is more forgiving than a handwritten letter, which is durable and re-readable.
Decision procedure: treat her hedge as evidence of a register mismatch, apply the standard respectful forms, then ask a clarifying question - e.g. Apakah sebaiknya saya menggunakan bahasa yang lebih sopan? This respects her authority while confirming the norm. In an exam answer, state the norm, give the linguistic evidence, and note that local variation exists but does not override the default expectation of respect toward elders.