Choosing the right register for a host-family request
You are staying with a Japanese host family in Nagoya for three weeks. Your host mother, Mrs Sato, has asked you to be home by 6:30 pm each evening for dinner. On Thursday a school club activity will finish at 6:00 pm, and the train plus walk home takes about 40 minutes. You want to ask whether you can eat later that one night, and you also want to explain that you will message her when you leave school. Your Japanese teacher has told you that with your host family you should use polite です・ます forms but not heavy keigo, and that a direct refusal or demand would sound rude. You have a written note from the club adviser confirming the finishing time.
1. Draft the core request you would make to Mrs Sato, and justify your choice of politeness level and sentence structure.
Read the worked answer
A suitable core request:
「佐藤さん、木曜日のクラブ活動が6時に終わって、家に着くのが6時40分ごろになります。本当にすみません。木曜日だけ、夕食を少しあとでいただいてもいいですか。学校を出るときにメールします。」
Why this works
- Politeness level: です・ます with すみません and いただいてもいいですか sits between casual family speech and business keigo. Heavy forms like いただけますでしょうか would feel distant inside a host family.
- Structure: apology + concrete facts (6:00 finish, ~6:40 arrival) + soft request with だけ ('only Thursday') + offer of a solution (messaging on departure). The だけ limits the imposition and signals you are not changing the rule generally.
- Indirect request form: ～てもいいですか asks permission rather than stating a demand, which matches the teacher's advice.
- Evidence: offering the adviser's note shows you are not making an excuse.
2. Mrs Sato replies: 「木曜日はちょっと…。できれば6時半に間に合うようにしてほしいんだけど、無理なら温めておくから、帰る前に必ず連絡してね。」 Explain what she has actually agreed to and what she has not, and how you should respond.
Read the worked answer
What she has agreed to: she will keep your meal warm (温めておく) if you cannot be back by 6:30, and she expects a message before you leave (帰る前に必ず連絡してね).
What she has not agreed to: the 6:30 rule has not been lifted. 「ちょっと…」 is a soft refusal of the request as framed, and 「できれば…間に合うようにしてほしい」 expresses a preference that you still try to be on time. So 'yes, I can come home late' is a misreading. The concession is conditional on contact, not on lateness being fine.
Response: accept the condition explicitly and thank her, e.g. 「わかりました。木曜日はできるだけ急いで帰ります。遅くなるときは、学校を出る前に必ずメールします。温めておいてくださって、ありがとうございます。」 This confirms the message promise (必ず), shows you will still try for 6:30, and thanks her for the concession. Note that 必ず is strong - missing the message would break the agreement, so send it even if you think you will make it.