Visitors' Day Notice: Hindi Draft Under Time Pressure
A jail issues a one-page notice in Hindi for a visitors' day. The draft reads: 'सूचना - सभी बंदियों के मिलने वाले संबंधियों को सूचित किया जाता है कि मिलने का समय दिनांक 15 अगस्त को प्रातः 10 बजे से दोपहर 1 बजे तक रहेगा। मिलने वाले व्यक्ति अपने साथ आधार कार्ड लाना अनिवार्य है। कृपया शांति बनाये रखें। जेल अधीक्षक।' The superintendent finds the draft unclear and slightly impolite. A second draft says: '... भेंट का समय ...। कृपया अपना आधार कार्ड साथ लाएँ। कृपया शांति बनाए रखें।' The office has to print 200 copies by 14 August, and the Hindi typist is on leave. The clerk suggests using the first draft to save time.
1. Identify three language or style problems in the first draft and explain why each matters for an official notice.
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'बंदियों के मिलने वाले संबंधियों' is redundant and unclear. It literally piles up 'of inmates', 'those who meet', and 'relatives'. A precise form is 'बंदियों से मिलने आने वाले संबंधी' or simply 'बंदियों के संबंधी'.
'मिलने का समय' is informal for a notice; 'भेंट का समय' is more formal and unambiguous.
'मिलने वाले व्यक्ति ... लाना अनिवार्य है' has an agreement problem: 'व्यक्ति' is singular, while the imperative 'लाना' is addressed to a general plural audience. Write 'प्रत्येक आगंतुक को अपना आधार कार्ड साथ लाना अनिवार्य है' or 'आगंतुक अपना आधार कार्ड साथ लाएँ'.
A fourth issue is 'बनाये रखें'; the respectful standard imperative is 'बनाए रखें'. In a printed public notice such errors look careless and can weaken the order's authority.
2. Rewrite the notice in formal, unambiguous Hindi in three to four sentences, using the second draft's improvements where appropriate.
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सूचना - सभी बंदियों के संबंधियों को सूचित किया जाता है कि भेंट का समय 15 अगस्त को प्रातः 10 बजे से दोपहर 1 बजे तक रहेगा। प्रत्येक आगंतुक को अपना आधार कार्ड साथ लाना अनिवार्य है। आगंतुक कृपया शांति बनाए रखें तथा निर्धारित समय का पालन करें। - जेल अधीक्षक।
The rewrite uses 'भेंट का समय' for formality, makes the card requirement apply clearly to each visitor, corrects 'बनाए', and adds a courteous but firm closing.
3. The clerk argues that 'शांति बनाये रखें' is acceptable because it is understood. How should the superintendent respond, and what principle of official Hindi applies?
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The superintendent should reject the argument. An official notice is an administrative communication printed 200 times; it will be read as a model of the office's language. 'समझ में आ जाएगा' is not a standard for public writing. The correct form is 'शांति बनाए रखें', preferably with 'कृपया'.
If the typist is absent, the clerk should use a checked template, a handwritten master copy, or a verified computer draft. Speed cannot justify a known error in a public document. The principle is that official Hindi should be standard, unambiguous, courteous, and grammatically correct, not merely intelligible.