Green Week Poster Revision
Kenta must write a short English paragraph for his school's 'Green Week' poster. The instructions are: 'Write exactly three sentences and 30-45 words. Describe one action your class can take to reduce plastic waste. Include an if-clause, a result, and a reason. Do not use the same action as the example (bringing reusable bags).' Kenta's draft is: 'We should stop using plastic bottles. If we stop using plastic bottles, we can reduce plastic waste. This is good because plastic waste is bad for animals and the environment and it is important to protect nature for the future.' The draft is 40 words but his teacher says it has two problems: the action repeats 'plastic bottles' in every sentence, and the reason is too general. The poster has room for only one short paragraph. Kenta wants to keep 'bottles' as his action because his class already has a water dispenser.
1. Revise Kenta's draft into exactly three sentences and 30-45 words. Keep the bottle action, include an if-clause, a result, and a specific reason. Show your word count.
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A workable revision is: 'Our class should stop using plastic bottles. If we use the water dispenser instead, we will reduce plastic waste. We should do this because our school throws away about 200 bottles each week.' This is exactly three sentences and 33 words: Our(1) class(2) should(3) stop(4) using(5) plastic(6) bottles(7); If(8) we(9) use(10) the(11) water(12) dispenser(13) instead(14), we(15) will(16) reduce(17) plastic(18) waste(19); We(20) should(21) do(22) this(23) because(24) our(25) school(26) throws(27) away(28) about(29) 200(30) bottles(31) each(32) week(33). It keeps the bottle action, uses an if-clause with a result, and gives a specific reason. The number 'about 200' should be checked or replaced with a real school figure; the structure still works. It avoids repeating 'plastic bottles' in every sentence and stays inside 30-45 words.
2. Explain which of the teacher's two criticisms is more serious for the poster's purpose, and what change in the draft fixes it without exceeding the word limit.
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The vague reason is the more serious problem. Repetition wastes words, but the poster's purpose is to persuade classmates to act, and 'plastic waste is bad for animals and the environment' is a statement most readers already accept. It does not explain why Kenta's class should choose this action now. The revision fixes that by replacing the general tail ('and it is important to protect nature for the future') with a concrete local consequence: the school throws away about 200 bottles each week. That makes the result feel real and keeps the paragraph within 45 words. If the number cannot be verified, a specific but honest detail - such as 'our class throws away many bottles after club activities' - is still better than a broad slogan, though it is less precise.