Communication and Interpersonal Skills
The model
Sender → encoding → channel → decoding → receiver → feedback, with noise interfering at any point. Know the nonverbal channels: proxemics (space), kinesics (body movement), oculesics (eye contact), haptics (touch), paralanguage (tone, rate, volume), and chronemics (use of time). Nonverbal behavior often carries more weight than words, especially with grieving families.
Core skills
Active listening: attending, paraphrasing content, reflecting feeling, clarifying, summarizing, and using silence deliberately. Open-ended questions ("What would be most meaningful to your family?") invite narrative; closed questions ("Do you want visitation?") yield a yes or no. Empathy is understanding the other's experience; sympathy is feeling sorry for it. Recognize barriers: jargon, euphemisms, professional distance, defensiveness, anxiety, hearing loss, language differences, and cultural norms about eye contact or touch.
Traps
- Substituting parroting (repeating words) for paraphrasing (restating meaning).
- Asking closed questions and then wondering why the family gives one-word answers.
- Saying "I know how you feel" - it claims an experience you do not have.
- Assuming silence means disengagement; silence often allows the family to continue.
- Ignoring nonverbal cues that contradict the words.
Rule of thumb
Listen 80%, talk 20%. Open with what and how rather than do or did. When you must inform, inform plainly, then pause and let the family respond before adding more information.